this was actually written quite long ago as a draft... i didn't actually post it on to the blog as i have my difficulties... but now see le.. also can't delete and i don't wanna keep it as a draft... so.. oh well... might as well just post it... tsk! why is it like so hard make a decision?!?! you know the feeling i'm having now is so crap?! and yet it's so hard to explain to people how i'm actually feeling and that i can only keep everything to 3 person.. i, me and myself. -.-'' it's like... who in the hell will be stuck in this kind of condition!!! i think that i like you? and that i'm falling deeply into it?
and right after i fall into it, i realise u have a girlfriend. and what's worse is the girlfriend of yours is one of my good friend. what am i gonna do? cling on like some bitch? i didn't even realise u have a stead until like... recently?! really heart broken when u said that la.. but not as bad when i know it's like one of my good friend.
although u said that u don't really like her and stuff, that's not the point you know? it's like.. you are already so popular. just like what you tell me before, you can always get a stead anytime as you are not lacking of any.. it's like... even if i'm a retarded, i know it will never ever be me. totally like less then 1% chance it'll be me?
to be honest, i don't exactly know if i'm really like into u as in to that kind of bgr relationship.. but what i know is that.. i'm more or less attracted to you? and that.. love chatting and talking to you and stuff... it's really hard to let go... but it's really pain to keep holding on... when i know the out come will not be any better for me...
~since im gonna post this.. i'll just add on~
and then just recently, you keep on giving me this form of HOPE as thought that it might just happen out of the blue? it's like killing me la.. you said you don't like her and during the event for the sec 4NA gathering... you're the one that ask me to go.. and not the rest. like what is this? and like you said you're gonna break up with her and tell her that you both are not suitable..
then after that you add on by saying... shermeen and i are more suitable. like what crap? like what kind of bullshit are you saying? like why are you giving me this form of like HOPE? when i know that it will never ever happen? and during the event, infront of her, you talked to me. but not her... and i've been out with her like the day before and stuff? she actually knows that i call you Pooh?!
then i was totally tongue tied when i wanna answer? and then she way she was talking to me is like.... with that kind of attitude as though we're having some kind of relationship behind her back... i really don't wanna have anything going on and i really don't know what to do. i like you but she's my best friend. like what am i exactly doing?! she was like... YOUR pooh and blah blah blah... i don't like it you know..
and then the gathering i saw you smoke?! like WHAT THE FUCK?! but i know that you didn't want me to see? and that you got to hide it? but the other time you said that you stop smoking already... and then i saw you... like..... nearly broke down? i don't know? first i was not really happy as you were smoking? but then you hid it from me and don't wanna let me see because you don't wan me to learn?!
and because of that stupid gathering for the BBQ then you were like BBQ-ing satays... and then you gave all of them to me... but i said that you don't know how to cook and it's still not yet cooked... and then you are like so disappointed... like what can i do? your gf was there?! and you didn't bother to offer her and instead offer me?!
i seriously don't know... still kinda shocked over the smoking thingy? but i really like you... ARGH! i just seriously hate myself for getting into this kind of situation. i know it's never good to fall in love with someone because it sucks. -.-'' i actually gave up on you already that's why i didn't post this? but like CAN YOU STOP GIVING ME THAT DAMN BLOODY FAKE HOPE?!?! it's not as if we'll ever be together.
every action you did is like affecting me so much. and why i like you? because you're handsome? it's like NO? you're fat? and i have no idea why the hell i would actually fall in love with you?! and i have no idea what attracted me either. it's total crap. usually is guys like me? but now i'm actually liking a guy?! and for my life, usually the guys that i don't like will like me and the guys they i like will COMFIRM not like me?
so i hate it because i like you. and if i like you means... you die also won't like me... totally crap manzxzx.... your gf is my good friend.... what the hell am i suppose to do?! give you up quietly? i guess that's the one and only way? because even if you suddenly out of the blue or something happen to like me... and if i were to accept you... i will be a what? bitch? i can't man...
AND I DON WANNA BE IN LOVE BECAUSE I KNOW IT HURTS.
The Ugly Duckling
Im MeeN
And im 16 this year
Want presents on 21st June
I'm a really straight forward person
And i'm Effin Kind alrite?!?! xD
Ok... that's if you're nice to me as well though.. ^^
IM SUPER FRIENDLY TOO!! ;DD
if sometimes i'm lazy to post about my daily life, i'll post stuff about myself like quizzes and tests that i've done so that more peeps will be able to know more about me!!
Super Temperamental and it's like very hard to understand and know what's going on in my mind..
Mood can change in a blink of an eye.. and it can really change to the extreme!
- Backstabbers
- Liars
- Hypocrite
- Garlic
- Acting cute
- Onion
- Stuff toys
- Mushroom
- MY FAMILY
- Guys that use waist bags
- Party SPOILERS
- Overly broken english
- Chinese
- Being caught in the middle
- Being sad
- Ppl that thinks i'm acting
- Sticking to the Rules!
Being HappyAlways is ME! XD
My Mini Chocolate Shop
All pricing of chocs are counted by PER piece.
choices of nuts are Almond or Hazel nut
semi-sweeten dark chocs [$0.50]
semi-sweeten dark chocs with nuts [$0.70]
white chocs [$0.70]
white chocs with nuts [$1]
half dark half white [$1]
half dark half white with nuts [$1.50]
if you want your choc to be customise, letters can be added on one letter per choc.
each letter will have an additional add of [$0.30]
for ordering, please state clearly what type of nuts you want and the rest of the information clearly.
Thanks You!! XD
MeeN
Wishy List! Grant them!! xD
New school bag New specs Apple earpiece Bouquet of flowers
Piano
Personalise mirror
Table full of b'day cakes
Hair food
New sling bag school shoes
More Beads
A globe
Outing shoes
New desk
New handphone
More clothes!!
Watch
Wii Pencil case Psp fatty
Psp slim
Wii
Laptop
