i ROCKS for who im XD

LOLs! i guess this is what happens.

2009-10-20T20:34:00.003+08:00

Dumb Dumb Dumb... like people would ask why? everyone would be wondering why?
C'mon.. you know it, i know it... maybe... almost everyone knows about it. -.-'' why would someone like me be pissed/disappointed/sad/angry or what so ever reasons you can give? HAHAS! damn fucking simple alright....

there could be afew reasons....
1) not enough money =( that's sad...
2) school work stress... that's fuck sad...
3) friends are not in a very stable status... that means can go bang the wall and die already!
4) pretty obvious... because of HIM! and today.. yepps.. as USUAL.. like what people might think, it's once again, because of.... HIM! -.-''

alright.. alright... i know it's really lame to be like saying about such stuff... where all my friends thinks that i'm the one being hot headed and blah blah.. saying i'm unkind, mean or whatever you could think of that portays a negative image of myself... but c'mon... none of you saw what's really happening between us... like Duh.. -.-''

not trying to be nagging or start to whine at my blog for fuck reasons? but seriously... i DON'T GET ANY ASSES STARING AT ME WITH EYES THAT SHOWS AN EXPRESSION OF... "WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU ARE TO USE THAT KIND OF TONE ON ME?!" bad huh? can't believe he actually just practically did that. -.-''

NOT COMPLAINING! just stating the facts... you all saw him at start? "wow.. so nice? loving? caring? or any positive stuff you can think of.. but..

LOL!... (sorry i can't help laughing.. my lover is currently on the phone speaking in Korean.. to her mom.. HAHAS! so cool can?!)

okays! ahem! back to the topic... yeah.. i think maybe.. in a summary since i don't wanna be ranting anymore... for anyone that don't know, "HIS ATTITUDE IS DIFFERENT FROM THE LAST! SO STOP SAYING THAT IT'S ME BECAUSE I AM MOTHER FUCKING TRYING TO BE NICE BUT SOMETIMES IT'S JUST SO EFFIN SHIT UP!"

okays the end.. i love everyone! <3333 HAHAHHAS!!!! XD

QUIZ

2009-09-24T20:02:00.002+08:00

1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling them how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

-Looking into someones eyes when i'm telling them how i feel.. okay.. actually none.. totally depends.. -.-''

2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

-I totally forgot when i was really angry.. why would someone bother to remember? dumb~

3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago nonstop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

-I would call beth, telling her that i've never ever leave her off my mind for even a second and that i really love her a lot.. besides that, i want her to be happy and healthy, hoping she would led an enjoyable life.. :)

4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

-I would not tell anyone and that i would enjoy every single day i have with my friends laughing out loud and doing lame and crappy stuff. Afraid? yeah.. afraid that i would die a pain death.

5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust:

-Love. You have to trust the person you love, don't you?

6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog’s life?

-it really depends on the dog. If it's close to dying, I'll bring it to a vet first than go back to work and explain to my boss. If he/she doesn't accept my excuse of being late, screw the job. I'll get a better one with a more understanding boss. But if the dog is fine, I'll bring it back to work and explain... and if the boss doesn't take my excuse again, hell, I'll tell him off and go find a better job with a better boss... And I'll call the SPCA!!!

7. You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her? Why or Why not?

-Well if I ever am unfaithful to the person (which I highly doubt so), there has to be a damn good reason, so yea I guess I would tell him. So he can understand my feelings in the relationship, and the guilt would probably kill me.

8. Your friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more then just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you do/say?

-erm.. it depends? If I have feelings for him, than fine. But if I don't, I'll say "sorry I'm not interested, can we still be friends?" or something like that. This is kind of a stupid question, I think everyone has the same reaction...

9. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

-no...? I'd annoy myself hahas! =x

10. Does love = sex?

-The way the question's phrased makes it sound so crude! I guess you could look at it in different ways. I don't think you could love someone just by having sex with them. But I think that if you really love someone, having sex with them is fine...? this is so awkward. And I think I phrased my thoughts wrongly. oh well.

11. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

-Not very long ago? and it's effin difficult to say though i just simply say it.. said it to Amanda. what did i say? you don't have to know. [private!]

12. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?

-I love all my friends D: but on a different note, it depends. it's hard to be rejected though i didn't experience before.. but i suppose so.. and on the other hand, it's also hard to reject.

13. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

-my dreams, I guess. 'cause I'd expect my love ones to accept what I want to do.

14. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?

-hmm... let me try to recall who was it did i said.. WAS IT JOANNE SOOI SQ?! which was my best friend for like a hell 10 years!! can't believe we actually know each other for that long.. =x
Or maybe it was JianXiong which is my Greatgrandfather.. told him that as he is suffering from some sort of relationship prob with his girl.. so just told him not to cry and his greatgranddaughter which is me will still love him.. Ah GONG~ <3

15. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not

-yeah, I guess? If I knew how to. I don't want to end up killing the person D:

16. You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your reason for making the decision?:

-..... WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THIS?! THAT'S JUST WRONG! can I kill myself to save the other two instead?

17. Are you old fashioned?

- LOL! no idea.. hope not! =x

18. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

- ..... like all the time? awww.. i'm so nice... LMAO! i think i'm gonna laugh till i tear!

19. Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

-never loved at all.. what's the point of having love when you know you're gonna hurt like shit later on?

20. If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

-That everyone will have a long, happy prosperous life and fulfill all their wishes (including me!). Also, world peace and happiness! :D

AT LAST! DONE! LMAO! xD

2009-09-01T23:01:00.000+08:00

He is always showing me attitude.
~
Always raising his voice at me even though every single time he'll end up saying sorry.
~
Loves his family, friends and sport more than anything.
~
Claims that i'm driving him to the corner..
~
Say things that he don't mean it.
~
He loves me for something else.
~
He simply hopes that we weren't together.
~
He feels that i'm ruining his life.
~
He wished that i didn't appear.
~
He never thinks i'm nice.
~
He always takes his own sweet time as he thinks i ain't important.
~
He takes me for granted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He doesn't know that i was hurt.
~
He doesn't know that his sweet talkings make me feel as though he is hypocritical
~
He doesn't know that i feel this way
~
He doesn't know that i don't feel cherished
~
He doesn't know that by him being this way i would be sad
~
He doesn't know that i'm depress
~
He doesn't know that i'm sick of him saying sorry as he said it too many times and nothing ever change..
~
He doesn't know that i am actually very nice to him.
~
He doesn't know that i am acting this way because i care.
~
He doesn't know how i am feeling
~
He doesn't know how sad i felt

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

he'll NEVER know...

2009-08-04T19:06:00.000+08:00

HE is sensible
And so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous.

HE says everything I need to hear and it’s like..
I couldn’t ask for anything better :)

HE opens up my door
And I get into his car
And he says..
“You look beautiful tonight..”

HE respects my space,
And never makes me wait..
and he calls exactly when he says he will..

But.. HE can’t see the smile I’m faking
And my heart’s not breaking
Cause.. I’m not feeling anything at all..

Because YOU were wild and crazy
Just simply so frustrating, intoxicating and complicated

Happy Birthday dad!

2009-07-15T22:35:00.002+08:00

thanks lion and hy for making this day to happen. ^^v

sorry?!

2009-07-14T00:16:00.005+08:00

SORRY is Not in my Dictionary.

you've uttered the word sorry tons of times... i always try to accept as i don't wanna to pursue the matter.. but you've been saying sorry over and over again.. and now, your sorry do not worth anything at all.

FUCK IT

2009-07-11T18:39:00.006+08:00

LOL!! seriously.. i know you're like effin piss off at me and stuff.. ignore my calls and texts, how bad can that get yeah? hahahas!! but well.... knowing your character, i won't even be bothered to ask you to forgive me..

Firstly is because i already know you Won't. Secondly is because even if you actually forgive me, i know that you won't be able to trust me anymore... so.. what's the point yeah? so please do not be worried if i will ever bother you and stuff by saying typical stuff like.. pls forgive me.. i know i'm wrong blah blah blah.. c'mon you're my dad.. i know it will never work on you since it won't work on me either -.-'' hahas!!

i can't even forgive myself, so even if one day you really did forgive me... i won't be able to accept it. like what many people will say.. "aiya... little bit things only.. just forgive and forget la!! and blah.." but hahs!! i know.. everything about you. what your character is like and stuff.. so please please do not listen to what others say.. and best if you don't forgive me alright?

because i don't even know how to face you. even though it's just a little lie.. but yeah.. i still can't bring myself up to face you. so... please remember what the pain where i took a knife and stabbed right into your heart. don't ever think of forgiving me... best of friends? yeah.. we are.. for life... :)

sad? yes i am.. but what can i do? nothing.. i can't and can never turn the clock around.. i know you will never ever forgive me.. so i will only remember all that you've ever told me and stay a good and obedient girl... why am i doing so much for you? because i love you more than anything... you're my dad.. with deepest regret.. i did something unforgivable... sorry that's all i can say.. though it can't ease your pain... but still... i'm sorry...

at least i do not break promises like you.. i forgive you.. but i never expect you to forgive me. because i don't want to know that you don't trust me anymore.

fake

2009-07-01T23:45:00.003+08:00

You are just simply fake...

my love style

2009-06-06T12:34:00.000+08:00

LOL! it's totally cool.. since i'm lazy to post, i took quizes saying about my personality love style..
and.. this is what is say..

Here is the analysis:

You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

this is another analysis. the topic is... What does being a friend really means to me.
after doing the quiz, this is what they say..

You value your friendships: 90%

You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends.

Sour feelings

2009-05-23T15:07:00.006+08:00

Mixed feelings.... now, i don't exactly know what am i suppose to be feeling... you know? we're not together. but i feel as though i'm getting involve with some stupid cat. thinking i was all happy and stuff... but when i really needed someone to be there, you're never really there... leaving hanging messages..... like what else?

i don't know how to say it to you.. but hahas... i don't know how to put it in words... all i know is.. this cat is really dumb. and dosen't know that i'm into that ASS CAT! which goes meow -.-'' i will TEACH U HOW TO DO TRICKS. oh man.... *vomiting blood*

but... no matter what, no matter how dumb this cat is, i'm so in love with it. ;DD LOVES lmao! <3

now i'll show u a pic......

Sports Centre!!! ;DD

i didn't lie to you. i did make it there in one way or another even though the competition is over, i still went around looking for the place like some aimless freak. i did.... tried to find u... but oh well... :)

Nemo

2009-05-13T12:17:00.002+08:00

This is me for forever, one of the lost ones..
the one without the name, without an honest heart as compass..
this lines, the last endeavor, to find the missing lifeline..

Oh how i wish for soothing rain, all i wish is to dream again...
my loving heart, lost in the dark.
For Hope, I'd give my Everything.

BANGS ARE BACK

2009-04-24T15:14:00.003+08:00

THE BANGS ARE BACK!!! muahahahahha!!!!!!! xD
okays okays everyone, i've cut bang already ^^
no need to hesitate any longer.. sometimes, just do what you feel like doing.
when u do it, there's no regrets.. ;D
but after u did it,
maybe you will. LOL!!!!!

dang!! look like some retarded bangster now. xD
cuz i went to cut again TODAY! if not, i can't even see.. LOL!!!

aim for something that you are able to reach and stop having fat hopes... it ain't worth it.

thanks

2009-04-12T01:02:00.003+08:00

HEY PPL!! as you guys know.. i have been kinda mentally off lately... yeah... family and loads of stuffs... but there are always friends around me even though they themselves have loads and loads of problems? but yeah, they have been Always there for me.. ;DD and therefore im gonna have a thanks list now, to thank all these ppll.. and they are...

LengChye
JianXiong
GuoJie
Dinika
AikSheng
YueQin
GuanBeng
HuiMin
Joanne
Huiling
Fongsze
Beverley
Nicholas
Ashley
Leon
WeiMei
Amanda
Angel
Carmen
Nabilah
Dilia
Sangeetha
Maple

And

CHARLES

lolxD!!

[i think that's about all..can't rmb.. sry!]

every single one of them are precious to me and they are my friends. don't anyone dare to bully them yeah? ;D
thanks all of you for helping me in one way or another.. really glad to have good friends like you!! thick or thin.. i'll be there if you guys need any form of help. ;D

HappyAlways~=D

Ps: thanks lc for shopping with me ONE WHOLE DAY and i end up get nothing.. and also thanks for treating me to such a wonderful dinner.. xD [though my name have been change to time bomb since.. the whole meal cost $80.. LOL! thanks jx for being there for me almost 27/7 everytime when i have something so say or more like something to whine about.. ;D

Forever, BFF.

2009-03-28T18:35:00.004+08:00

About me on the quiz i do..

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

yaya.... and THE ONLY PERSON I FLIRT WITH IS MY COUSIN. =D CHARLES.

Dang!

2009-03-25T23:12:00.002+08:00

It rain today, you've gone back home.
but when the rain have stopped, why aren't you back?
a BEST friend like you, should not be the one that cheat my feelings. =P
you should worry if what you did would make me sad yeah?
[stop giving that fuyan-ing face! XP]
and THANKS alot for everything and i want you BACK!
erm... like NOW?! LOL! =D

just jokin!! ;DDD faster come back nuh...... miss you leh... HOW CAN YOU MAKE ME MISS YOU?! U LOUSY POK BEST FRIEND! xD

Clothes to spare?

2009-03-07T22:58:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone!! i'm sincerly asking everyone and anyone if you all have any clothes to spare.. because i'm gonna donate it to my bestfriend which is very very poor over at Philipines...[don't know if spelling is right.. -.-'' ] so... yeah.. girl or boy type of clothing and are fine!! as long as they are not torn and stuff that can't be worn... you should know what i mean... ;DDD

those that can help, please help as much as you can!! and do contact me or tag me if you have anything that you would like to donate to me yeah?! thanks!!!!

Love MeeN!

the apple of my eyes ^^

2009-03-04T20:50:00.003+08:00

it's you you YOU! i'm talking about you! yes! =D the one that always helps me in almost everything.. school work... pursuading me to study.. eat dinner.... hahas ^^ yepps! it's you! always playing the songs that i wanna hear... try to get all the notes right even though it's ur first time looking at the score.... bought sweets and share them with me.. and many many more!!

these are all little little things that usually people don't take notice of... calling each other to do homework and ended up not doing and have to stay up all night just to complete it.. calling each other to stop talking on msn and start doing work and ended up? both of us talk on msn with each of our friends... hahas! LOL! teach me in dota, crap with me saying sacred relic is tissue paper... because i don't know that it was actually called that... joke with me... =P

i know it's kinda crap to be typing it here.. hahahahas!!! nvm, heck care and don't care!! and even though you said you have that, though you don't feel it i guess? and i don't really feel it.. but since all your friends said it.. then.. it must be.. not sure as well.. BUT!!! no matter what happens, U ARE ALWAYS NORMAL IN MY EYES! ^^v see i so nice right? must be touch yeah? LOL!! xD yepps... like what ever peeps say it, anti social, emotional or depression... I DON'T CARE! you are who you are and that's that.. it maybe due to some stuff and you might be depress and emotional..

but so? you are not like that towards me... and i know you know that i know it.. i think i'm crazy already.. hahas!! anyway.. YOU ARE GREAT THE WAY YOU ARE! SMILEYS!! ;DDD

bangs~

2009-03-02T21:04:00.002+08:00

PPL!! don't get shock!!! i have an announce to make....

I'M GONNA GET BACK MY OLD HAIR STYLE!! LOL!!! THOSE FRINGE!!! ;DDD I THINK I'M CRAZY BUT.. OH YEAH! I AM CRAZY.. LOL! ^^v

life's like this

2009-02-26T18:45:00.003+08:00

Life's like this, school without fail xD

worksheets, pen and sweet!! Happy Life~!

hahas!!! ;DDD

If u say u love..

2009-02-20T21:48:00.003+08:00

If u say you love,

How are u able to measure that amount?
Able to take everything into account?
If that's the case aren't you being calculative?
Or are you just saying i'm plain negative?

Loving means being demanding?
Or just mere comanding?
You did nothing to impress,
though you've tried to express.

Don't think too highly of yourself,
at least be better than an elf.
Always be humble,
but don't ever mumble..

Do watch the way you speak,
i might think you are just a freak.
I still have loads to say,
but i don't have all day.

hehehe!!!

2009-02-19T17:53:00.006+08:00

I know i don't look very appealing when i was young like.. pri 6?.. -.-'' LOL!!! xD

During Valentine ^^v thanks uh.. seb drive us le.. i still have to walk.. -.-'' lucky u walk with me ;DD

10 years of friendship, 10 years of wonderful memories.. =) loves!! ;D

ELLOS!!! miss me?!?!!? hahas!! okay okays... sorry for not bloggin... hmm my life has turn really really wild recently with my friend.. which i realise has always been my friend for like 10 years already!! and still so close!!! ;DDD jealous right.... LOL~!! okays.. it kinda turn my life into those that actually was said to be "Super concern about friends.. being scare they would leave me.. and blah blah blah.." and ended up becoming.. "super heck care, go wild, stay HappyAlways, love friends that LOVE me, no point being sad over crap stuff wasting my life away, kinda talk crap and making everyone around me high!" hahas~! cool yeah? and of cuz i will cherish my friends more then anything. i'm just hecking caring peeps that actually don't even give a damn about me..

like.... am i always being nice and end up getting a hurt and feeling sad about it when some jackass don't even know?! maybe once they have new friend and stuff then they started forgetting friends that they have already have.. DON CHERISH? that's perfectly fine with me~ hahas!! oh ya oh ya! guess what!!! today joanne, maple, claudia, caroline and i got stalked by this stupid mental indian old man!!! okays first, joanne, liliang and i went Tiong Bahru to have lunch at LJS and after that study.. [okays.. more like we're doing some hw -.-''] after that liliang went with nicole and sarah to subway since joanne and i are about to go off..

knowing that maple was with her clique at Tiong too, we decide to find her just to say hi and then go off.. but, maple decided to go off with us and so we walked together to subway and said bye to sarah, nicole and liliang.. after which, when we went out of subway... HERE COMES THAT MAD OLD MAN!!! he stopped us and started shouting and screaming!! one side of my ear was hearing music.. so i can't here what the old man is saying... [or maybe he has no teeth at all.. -.-'' i can't even see his teeth..] and then caroline was so afraid and started running away together with joanne.. soon, maple, claudia and i follow up running like nobody's business!! hahas!! laugh until stomach pain can... xD

in the end, we did not have enough fun and we went back up and PURPOSELY walk pass that old man.. [okays.. not me.. claudia and maple did that.. joanne and i stayed some place nearby and laugh.. LOL!] then later not sure what's happening, both came running towards joanne and i.. and so did the stupid old man. LOL!!! and then.. haiz.. really speechless... laugh until stomach pain can!! only shout shout shout and i cant even hear a word that's screaming out of his mouth... hahas!! later went home.. ;DDD

ITS ANOTHER CRAZY ADVANTURE~~ xD

PEEKABOO~~~ xD

2009-02-13T23:08:00.002+08:00

BOO BOO BOO~~~~~~~~~~~~ hahas!!! i'm super happy today can?! xD my parents wants me to quit prefect's and syf!!! WOOTS!!! totally feel like having those wackco stuff in the party just that they are the shape of my parents and just wack!

all their eyes can see are only grades!! ;DDD cool yeah?! xD and having financial crisis, the point of getting a new specs is practically gone... when they agree to get me one more than 3 times.. but oh well!! will go and change one myself!! xD super duper happy!!! =D

lovely parents that only see grades man!! such lovely parents where to find... hahas!! LOL!! HappyAlways~ xD

let u go..

2009-02-08T00:18:00.004+08:00

Hi dear friends~~!!!! LOL!!! okays okays.. cut the crap.. recently hang out with joanne and crap A LOT!! hmmm talks to ashley most of the time.... and waiting for vanessa to come back!! ;DDD oh ya oh ya!! and talks to angel and manda about Simple Complication's future.... and that's about it!!! Vday is coming!! and my BRO's birthday is coming too!!! ON THE 12th!!! xD take care peeps!! loves!!! LOVES LOVES LOVES LOVES LOVES LOVES LOVES LOVES!!! LOL!! being lame.. -.-'' hahas!!

to N: wth? i am super piss can?! in ur blog, u replied me like a word.. and the rest? loads... best friend? ya we are.. totally.. just in a name? i don't know.. u can practically DON'T talk to me for don't know how many effin days? and that's not the point.... i am freaking piss and actually in a state of SHOCK that you and her are actually talking and u actually wrote on ur blog just to call her to take care... FINE. not being jealous.. but... nvm... maybe she is very pitiful.. i don't call anyone a snatcher because u are U youself! u have ur own circle of friends... i can't say because i DONT like her therefore asking you to stay away from her... i will just bloody keep my mouth shut until i cant take it anymore and i will just leave... anyway i don't think i weigh any thing in ur heart... im just a.......... a...... friend? or maybe nt even a thing to you...

to E: thanks for giving me the affirmation... ;DD i think i really needed like someone to be there? because there's so much things happening and maybe she can just practically slap me out of no reason which may cause our friendship to strain? because to me, even though we are good friends but we are not acting like one? because i am like effin stress up due to those stuff and u are just... walau.. i donno about u la. lolx! but yeah.. at least u came talk to me and say that we should just be good friends the way they are without having any form of restriction.. then at first i was like scare that what we actually talked about during vivo.. will really happen? like getting slap?! and much worst for no reason.. -.-'' but u actually saying that you would be there... hahas!! great friend eh? nvm.. maybe u ought to do that since its cause of u that started everything.. LOL!!! jkjk.. hahas xD jyjy in courting her la. ^^

finally awaken..

2009-02-01T21:55:00.003+08:00

i'm glad to announce that MeeN has FINALLY AWAKEN....

gosh... it's like at last!?!?!?! hahas!! why am i saying this is because.. usually as u guys know, i am pretty sensitive over relationship stuff... with family, friends.... like when my friend ignore me, i am sad like anything. and all this ended up making me have a thought that i actually needed them to like live?

but i've come to see the light.. there no point being upset about peeps that treat me for granted or as dirt and can just show me attitude, boss me around, being extremely rude or practically just ignore me... well... like what i've said, i have finally realise that there's totally no point.. to be even brooding about all these stuff.. just be myself and to my friends, i won't change the way i am of course!! XD no worries yeah?!?!

but i will just know who are the ones that really care for me and who are those that don't and just acted out as though they are concern.....

heart of ice? hahas...... i guess it has already been frozen long ago...

oh ya oh ya!! and of course not forgetting friends that have always been there for me.... there are many many ppl there for me!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!! IM LOVED!!!! ;DDD hahas!! thanks thanks!! from now on.... i will be the HappyAlways girl that everyone use to know.. only besties will know the inner craps of my life... THANKS PEEPS!!! ^^v

To S: i know you've always been there for me the moment i know you... despite me treating you like shit and trying to stay away from you, you are always still there.... i don't know how to change my character to try to be nice to u.... because i know that no matter wat happen, u will be there without fail... but sometimes the way u talks is really..... demanding? and rude as well.. but anyway, thanks for being there..

EFFIN FUN!!

2009-01-30T21:42:00.003+08:00

WOOTS!!! today is effin fun alright?! it's been like a real long time that i've laugh until stomach pain.. hahas!! okays.. today i went out with Vanessa and Mr horny.. HAHAS!! LOL!!!

okays... it's like too much for me to say? but brieftly, we went to catch a movie and after that due to some reason... which is kinda sick.. i laughed really loudly and soon vanessa realise what happen and started laughin really loudly too!!! okays... it's something about having pockets at the back... HAHAS!!!

okays... and Mr horny actually said it's ok to be doing that? like wth? LOL!! next time those that go out with him make sure be more careful... hahas~!!! real real happy today man!!! well.. but actually joanne is suppose to come as well... but due to some reason, she can't... oh well... anyway had fun like some crazy ass!! hahas~!

Ps: Leon u are certainly welcome!! anyway that's what friends are for ain't it? ^^v

oh ya oh ya!! pls beware of Mr horny.. hahas!!! XD

and thanks faith and seb.... both of u very cute lahs... thanks for being there =D

I am the girl!

2009-01-29T20:43:00.003+08:00

Okays i'm just here to state something about myself ^^

I AM A GIRL THAT...

over reacts
super sensitive
is very mean
is ugly
is unfriendly
thinks too much
get piss off easily
ppl always ignore me
ppl keep "lol-ing" at me as thought im a fool
ppl keep "dot-ing" [...]
get hurt easily
is super straight forward

there is still many more... and those that hate my personality just fuck off and stop hurting me and i still have to act as though i'm fine in front of you. it's not easy ok? and.. I DON WAN TO BE A BEST FRIEND TO SOMEONE ELSE JUST BY HAVING A NAME..

if u call me your best friend, treat me the same and ur other bestie and don't even go [mia] missing in action and talk to others for effin long then come and say sorry blah blah blah.. I AM A HUMAN, I HAVE FEELINGS!

am i a freak or a freak?

2009-01-26T22:04:00.002+08:00

HAPPY MOO YEAR PEEPS!!! ;DDD

Okays... today's topic is... am i a Freak or a freaK?

hahas... i'm saying this because i find myself really really weird? it's totally insane alright? i have totally no idea how can i actually think of a person that it's just so normal and someone that is being considered So NOT important to me? freak huh? LOL!! okays it goes like... there's this guy that have been texting me and goes like blah blah blah.. and i treat him SUPER cold? and SUPER mean that i've never treat my friends like that unless i'm really agitated or angry... and instead, i actually treat him like that on purpose? [i know.. i know... it's kinda like... Dots rite? hahas!!] but yeah! it's true alright?! because first, this person seriously demands A LOT! like the moment he talks to u in msn or text, he expects an reply REAL FAST! and it's like hell no that i'll do it?

and then i've like been scolding him for every single little thing. much worst is sometimes i scold him because i don't like the wat he type... hahas!! it's like example the word 'so' he said it as 'sho', the word 'love' he said it as 'lub' and he always say 'bleh' which i practically hates it? because almost every single text has it! -.-'' but like after that, when he text me saying he is home [which i didn't even ask him.. -.-''] i replied saying "good for you" which that will be something that i would never ever text someone? because to me it's considered really rude... and guess wat, he didn't reply after that... like for effin long he didn't reply?

after some time i started thinking and wondering why aint he replying... then i will go and like check my handphone... [and i actually checked my handphone ONCE!!! like wtf?] because usually i don't check my handphone... and there was STILL no reply... then i started to wonder if he's angry or something that i've treated him so mean... and then i can't stand it, i went to lie on my bed thinking that he's not worth for me to even kill my brain cells... so when i get back to my desk to continue using the computer, i realise he texted me.. and guess wat... HE WAS ASLEEP THAT'S WHY!!! LOL!!!

it's like.... i'm speechless and i think i'm a freak.. because i have totally no interest in this crap guy... maybe i got stalked too much.. LOL!!!

disappointed

2009-01-23T16:51:00.008+08:00

I AM FUCKING ANGRY WITH MY PARENTS TILL THE EXTEND THAT I CAN PUT THE "F" WORD.. U SHOULD KNOW HOW ANGRY I AM LE BA?! THE MOMENT I CAME HOME, MUM STARTED BARKING LIKE A IDIOTIC MAD DOG! AND DAD DIDN'T EVEN HELP ME! NOT BAD YEAH MY FAMILY? BARK BARK BARK.. LATER MY DAD SAY DRIVE ME BACK TO GET IT, MY MUM ACTED LIKE A ANGEL AND SAY "OH.. IT'S OK.." LIKE WAT THE FUCK?! I CANT STAND UR ATTITUDE ANYMORE ALRIGHT?!

WAT ARE PARENTS?! IF U CAN EVEN BARK AT ME FOR NOT GETTING THAT BECAUSE I DON'T EVEN KNOW!!! AND WHY I DON'T KNOW? BECAUSE AS A MUM, YOU HAVE NEVER EVER ACCOMPANY ME TO ANY OF THAT SHOPS BEFORE TO GET ANYTHING LIKE THAT! AND WHO CAME WITH ME? MY FRIENDS.. GET WAT? THE MOST PERSONAL STUFF. BECAUSE WHY? YOU ARE EFFIN BUSY THAT U HAVE TOTALLY NO TIME FOR UR OWN BLOOD DAUGHTER THAT WHEN I CAME HOME ALL U DO IS JUST BARK..

I AM SERIOUSLY WONDERING IF EVER THERE IS ONE FINE DAY THAT SUDDENLY YOU BECOME A SUPER NICE PERSON THAT TREAT ME REALLY WELL. AND WHEN DID THAT DAY COME? IT NEVER CAME!!! YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO SCOLD ME BECAUSE EVEN WHEN DAD SHOWS HIS LIKE BITS OF CONCERNS ALTHOUGH HE CARES LIKE SO MUCH MORE ON MY GRADES AND PRACTICALLY HECK CARE ANY OTHER STUFF OTHER THEN MY GRADES... BUT AT LEAST HE KNOW HOW TO FAKE IT AND ACT AS THOUGH HE IS INTERESTED IN WATEVER IM SAYING!

IT'S YOU MUM!!! IT'S ALL YOU YOU YOU!!! FIRST U DON EVEN SHOW ME CARE AND CONCERN FOR A DAUGHTER AND LIKE SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU EVER GO OUT SHOPPING WITH ME?! 5 YEARS BACK?!?! WHEN OTHER THEN 5 YEARS BACK STILL GOT WHEN? ONLY WHEN I'M FUCKING GOING OVERSEAS!!! AND WHATS WORST IS, YOU DON EVEN KNOW I'M GOING OVERSEAS UNTIL WHEN I TOLD U TMR I'M GOING OVERSEAS.. [it's for that time the suzhou competition] WAT DID U DO TO ME THAT I HAVE TO LIKE RESPECT YOU? OH... BECAUSE U ARE MY MOTHER AND U GAVE BIRTH TO ME?!?!?!

I'M SO SORRY BEACUSE I'M SO NOT GONNA TAKE THAT FUCKING SHIT! I'VE HAVE BEEN BEARING ALL THE PAIN IN MY HEART AND ALMOST CRYING EVERY SINGLE DAY BECAUSE OF THIS STUPID SHIT MUM I'VE GOT.. I'M NOT A BOY THAT'S WHY YOU ARE UNHAPPY WITH ME IS IT?! IF YOU ARE, WHY CAN'T U JUST ABORT ME DURING THAT TIME?!?!?! OH.. MAYBE U WANTED BUT IT'S NOT ALLOWED?!? BECAUSE EVEN U CAN TELL ME WITH FACE TO FACE THAT U ACTUALLY DIDN'T WANT ME!!! WAT AM I TO THIS FAMILY?!?! A THING???!!!!!

THE MOMENT I CAME HOME, U MADE ME CRY.. YOU DON CARE ABOUT ME, HOW HAVE I BEEN DOING, WHERE DO I GO USUALLY, HOW AM I DOING WITH MY FRIENDS, THOSE LOVELY MOTHERLY TALKS WITH THEIR DAUGHTER... I DON'T HAVE ANY!!! I YOU CARE IS ABOUT MY GRADES GRADES AND GRADES. WHEN IM HUNGRY WAT U DO AS A MOTHER? LET ME TELL YOU! ALTHOUGH MONEY IS IMPORTANT, BUT IT'S NOT EVERTHING ALRIGHT?!!?! TO BE HONEST AND NOT TO HIDE, I'M A GIRL.. AND IT'S A DUH THING THAT I NEEDA WEAR BRA.. AND WHO ACCOMPANY ME TO BUY THESE KIND OF PERSONAL STUFF? NOT YOU! IT'S NOT YOU YOU YOU!!!!

YOU ARE NOT EVEN DOING UR JOB AS A MOTHER! DON EVEN NEEDA ADD A WORD LOVING IN FRONT BECAUSE U CANT EVEN BE FIT INTO THE WORD MOTHER! IF YOU THINK U DID, WHY CAN'T I EVEN FEEL LOVE BY THIS STUPID FAMILY?! IF YOU REALLY DON'T WAN ME SO MUCH! GET ME OUT OF THE HOUSE OR TELL ME TO GO AND DIE LA! I WILL BE GLADLY TO DO SO!

and to be honest, i'm not actually angry.. but i'm really really heart broken..

ello!!!

2009-01-19T19:13:00.005+08:00

psps so long nv blog... really really busy with school stuff... and if i'm not busy with school stuff, i'll be playing T.D... so equally busy in another way la.. LOL!!! ok la.. so let me upload some pics that i took recently. ^^ ok.. maybe not i took.. but well, im in it!! ;DDD

This pic is SUPER meaningful can?!?! because.. WE TOOK IT IN CLASS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE TEACHER! LOL!!!! ;DDD

Okays... and this is i think the first ever pic that sangeetha took with me!! xD

THIS MAKE ME LAUGH!!! owning la.. LOL

no more loving..

2009-01-11T19:02:00.005+08:00

ok... just to announce, since some peeps don't get it, I don't like anyone now.. COMFIRM. not even like... secretly liking anyone.. lols because i realise that's kinda stupid.. so i would have to get a life.. so yeah.. and the other reason is because...........

everytime i was like freaking hoping thinking that my prince will some how come and be beside me for every single thing. and made everything felt like a fairy tale... but sometimes, my thoughts are usually like walking the wrong path.. but it also did bring me up to another level.. and trust me.. oh ya, and for girls, even if your group of friends are much prettier or anything such as that, do not and never ever feel discouraged!!

Because.. it's really wonderful to hang out with the prettiest girls and at the same time, even if you're not a very beautiful swan amoung them, you can be very sure... or instead super sure that if any guy falls for you, it's because you have the most wonderful inner beauty that no one has ever seen. and that guy really loves you for who you are and not how you look!

so usually i'm someone that is like that.. my friends around me are really gorgeous and having loads of peeps that are liking them. at start, you might feel that you are not as good as others and stuff like that... but just look at another different perspective from others. you are great the way you are. and you don't have to make changes.

To Him (N): ... sorry i can't accept you... i seriously don't need you to prove anything for me. it's not that u are not good looking or wat.. but now, i'm not really into thin relationships at all.. i really wan someone to be there for me when i really need them and show me their moral support and not going mia for a few hours talking to another friend. [nt saying tat ur r doing that] but ya... sorry.. we'll see how it goes ba.. =]

To You (C): I Didnt Steal your Boyfriend. and why should u be angry with me when we are BFF once? and the words that he said to me, comes out from his mouth not mine. i didn't even say a thing. instead you are not blaming you boyfriend and instead placing the blame on me... where's the BFF that i use to know?

it's not free

2009-01-10T23:55:00.004+08:00

I SHALL AND WILL PROVE TO YOU[PARENTS] THAT MY TEARS IS NOT FREE! AND GET THAT IN YOUR HEAD! IF YOU DON LIKE ME TO TAKE THAT COUSRE... WHEN U SAY I SHOULD GET SOMETHING THAT I'M INTERESTED IN.. AND SAYING THAT IM BRAINLESS AND CAN'T EVEN GET PROPER BROCHERS!!!

THAN YOU GO CHOOSE MY COURSE FOR ME AND GO WITH ME TO GET THE BLOODY DAMN BROCHERS LA! SINCE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT EVER I DO, NONE OF U LIKE IT!!!

Spring cleaning?

2009-01-04T16:52:00.004+08:00

Sexy Back!~ LOL!!!

Spring cleaning?

Hahas!!! okays.. as you can see from the photos that i've taken, they are my mum. i took the photos secretly but openly... because.. it's just so cute la... she said it's spring cleaning and she, without asking for my consent, just threw my sandals away... LOL! so soon i'm gonna get her to buy me one.....

and like... that's all for today? suppose to continue my homework.. but......... oh well, guess you all know the answer already.. so i'll just ditch the excuses that i was gonna tell.. hahas!! HappyAlways yeah! ;DDD

HAPPY 2009!!

2009-01-01T15:15:00.002+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPS!!! ;DDD it's a brand new year and everything rocks!!! XD
okays... its a new year so let the past memories stay as the past.. so.. FRIENDS ARE FOR LIFE!! WOOTS!!

I LOVE YOU PPL!!! XD

friends?

2008-12-30T19:25:00.004+08:00

WOOTS!! today went to do hw as i'm drowning in them.. hahas!! okays.. just as i was on my way to the library, some coconut text me and so.. we ended up texting each other like crazy and that made me half alive since i was kinda dead being at the library doing hw.. although i did not much, but that stupid not much hw i did cost me a few hours!!! can die la... hahas!! but overall it was a fun studying day ^^

well... of course i still seriously do regard u as one of my goodie friend even things might be a little different now.. and i'm also glad that you've made it sort of clear to me.. and please do not feel that you are FAT around me because no matter what i've always regarded you as my friend. besides that, i am honest and i seriously don't mind telling that i'm not rich. in tearms of family ship you seems to be richer than me because your family ties ain't that bad.. for me, i have only my dad to support me as my mum don't even care a thing about me at all. and if you ever say that i'm making use of you and backstabbing you. let me ask you a question... what can i backstab you about? and what can i make use of you about? whatever you can do, i can practically like do it too?

and if you wanna drag friends in saying that i'm backstabbing you for whatever reasons that i'm not known of, let me just tell you something... i very much believe that the people that said i've backstab you or something.. are not friends that are really close to me and stuff. and have you ever ask my other close friends what i've always say to them about you? if you don't believe, you can just practically ask someone whom you and i knew as well and she's my bestie as well.. Amanda. just because she is my bestie.. and we both regarded each other as one. i told her like everything? and i always talked about you to her saying that you're really nice and you treated me very well and we became best friends and stuff when she was not around for choir and stuff..

she knows every single thing about what's like happening? and i know that you've been stress by your friends on the other side as well.. because it's pretty obvious that's what they will be doing since they are ppl that dislike me. and i also seriously don't mind if you actually believe what they are saying because they are your friends too. you've got the rights to choose who you actually wanna believe and stuff like that. and i also don't might that you can't go out often.. so there's no need for apologising.

and last of all, friends or not, it's not for me to decide.. because you've already said that you can't be my friend because your other friends are stressing you so badly. and if badly wanted our friendship to have an end.. just say it.. and... i'm slightly different from you. because my friends will never stop me from making friends or breaking the friendship that i have with others because they all know that i really do cherish friends a lot. it may not appear as how it is.. but it's the fact. and if it's that difficult for u to just be my friend since there's so much stress, then it's alrite.. you just needa tell me.. becuase maybe it's my fault that cause you to have this stress.

and it's the same as well... if i ever did anything wrong of what you think that's wrong, i'm sorry. and i do mean it. because i've never once hate you even after you've changed. and you're right. it's pretty obvious i don't like that change.. and the thing i said to my friends was that you've become someone that have been drifting further away from me and changed into someone that is so cold. am i wrong for what i say? i don't think so. if you can tell me that you're feeling hurt, then what am i feeling? damn happy?! that's like so not gonna happen to me? it hurts just as bad over at my side as well.

aiya... i don't know what to say la.. just believe who you wanna believe. but friends.. will last a life time. =]

no one will ever know... the pain in my heart...

god damn it. had enough!

2008-12-29T20:15:00.002+08:00

Hi,Hie,Hello,Ello!!! hahas!! well.. as usualy, today have choir at 3pm and went to school at 9.30am to "study" although i doubt anyone would believe... because... it didn't really happen anyway!! LOL!!! okays.. choir was quite fun.. with Maple, Beverley and Amanda[mummy] to keep everything crazy like some mad people.. hahas!! ok.. short and simple.. end of what's going on for today. ^^

now to moving on to a more serious tone, i would like to say... can you stop acting as though you're like saying that i'm the one that's acting and blah blah blah... if you don't like me or anything, just say it right in front of my face rather than being some pain in the ass and having to have such a need to backstab or talk bad about me behind my back. like what has everything become yeah? thinking that i was still one of your goodie goodie friend that i can actually entrust on... WOW... you are really a great one man...

what's the point of bullshitting so much about saying this and that about some peeps trying to act in front of you and stuff and much worst,being a hypocrite? let me tell you the honest fact... everyone made friends with you because they WANT and not because they NEED to. if you're gonna be such a prissy person and only believe words that some other people might tell you that made you change into such a person? if that's the case, i'm seriously sad... because no one is even acting in front of you.

and if someone were to NOT tell them their true feelings, it's not because they are not your true friend/best friend.. it's just because they don't want you to feel bad or to have that thought thinking that you did wrong since besties won't really take things to heart.. and they would rather have a rest for that matter.... and if you don't believe that i treat you as one of my best friend, that's totally fine with me because if i were actually being a best friend in your heart, you wouldn't have doubt me and treated me this way. to tell you the truth, if you wanna say i'm acting in front of you or whatever, it's totally not.

and please to not act as though you're the hottest girl in town or because you are filthy rich or whatever shit crap you can think of just to find yourself an excuse to say that i'm acting in front of you. because you are totally not the hottest girl in town? and you are not even rich at all? and it totally make no sense for me to even be acting in front of you. for you info, i am your friend because I WANTED TO and not because i'm like friend-less or trying to gain any good deals from you. so if you do not wanna cherish our friendship, that's absolutely fine with me. because i've totally no idea what you've turn into.

and if i ever did anything wrong or what so ever that made you think that i've changed into another person or become someone whom you don't even know, i seriously don't mind if you just confront me and telling me about where i've went wrong and telling me what i did that made you think so... because having people to tell me where i did wrong is actually part and parcel of my life. and i WON'T because of whatever you said or confronted me about as something bad because i'm sure that if you were to tell me about what you actually think of me and what i should do to change for the better it's really what a good friend should be doing. because i'm always myself and sometimes i don't realise the mistakes that i did..

so last of all... if you hate me, shoo far far away from me.. and i do not ACT in front of others esp towards my friends. and i would not want anyone to be acting infront of me or trying to pacify/confort me or trying to ask how i am just for the sick of askin.. because i find it really REVOLTING.

choypheng's bd... bad story...

2008-12-27T00:46:00.000+08:00

okays... first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY AH MA CHOY PHENG!!!! ;DDD

hehs... although it wasn't a really fun and exciting outing or anything with the clique... but... yeah... a truly genuine Happy Birthday to you. =) today's event is not really going as planned? i will explain more about it later.. first, we're suppose to meet at amanda's[mummy] house first and so the people that came are.. Choy Pheng[ahma], Kelvin Ting[uncle], Ashley[darling], Leon, Yue Han, Jian Xiong[ah gong], Edmund, Amanda[mummy], Rey and of course myself.

then after that go to somewhere near her block to play cake fight. ok.. but i cant play due to some crap reasons so i just sat there with Ashley, Rey and Leon. ok.. and everyone had of course disapper as it's a cake war.. hahas!! then they took cream and stuff to "paint" on each other faces... after the crazy cake fight, edmund didn't even get "painted" at all! so, Amanda came up with a plan that we said end game and Amanda and Choy Pheng actually caught Edmund as i pulled him to take the lift back to Amanda's house when Choy Pheng was waiting right infront of the lift and Amanda was waiting downstairs...

Honestly, i actually didn't really get to know the plan... but it seems to work anyway. hahas! but i went into Amanda's house to just wash up since kelvin actually told edmund everything and i was kinda piss with him since i thought he spoiled all the fun.. i was in the living room when suddenly Edmund rush up to me and said "Shermeen ni si ding le!!" because i was the one that dragged him up the lift.. and his face, hair and hands are like all "painted" with cream. hahas~!! ok so i ran like everywhere trying to get him to lay his hands filled with cream on me...

and at the mean time, Amanda was with Choy Pheng in the kitchen because they are washing up their hands and legs as well... and i ran into the kitchen so that i could use the sink to wash my hands since only my hands are like oily due to the cream... while Amanda and Choy Pheng is at the kitchen's bath room... as soon as i got my hands clean.. Edmund came rushing in and trying to get me... and like block me from getting out of the kitchen.. and like i seriously can't force my way out? he is way too strong... -.-'' becuase he is like having cream everywhere on him, Edmund said " I won't let you pass unless you hug me. ".

but like.. it's a Duh thing that i'm not going to hug him? and what's worst is... Choy Pheng is there.. and no doubt she over heard what edmund say to me.. but i'm also not sure if she did hear or not... then after that, i managed to get away from edmund.. and i ran to Choy Pheng saying that " Choy Pheng!! Edmund bully me!! " and then she gave me a very scary and fierce tone saying " oh. then what do you want me to do? " so... yeah.. i realise that she was actually angry or jealous about it... but i can't do anything to change what Edmund have said...

so.... after everything... her face expression change... and my face expression change as well... and so i'm like going mad because i've no idea what am i suppose to do and i can't even talk to her because she sounded so fierce... aiya... then don't wanna say le la. it sucks.

CHRISTMAS!!!

2008-12-25T02:45:00.000+08:00

woots!!! ok.. now it's like christmas? and guess what... i celebrated X-mas at Ashley's house!! with her family, relatives and of course they clique.. hahas!! IT'S TOTALLY COOL!!!! there are loads of chat... jokes... laughter... pool... Tv... wines... stuff to eat!!! YUM!!! hehs.. the best part was the exchanging of PRESENTS!!! TOTALLY COOL ALRITE!!! and it's damn funny!! cant describe how fun it was... but it's like... FUN!!! LOL!!!

and at her house, there is the really really nice christmas tree which is white in colour!!! so nice!~ hehs.. then ok.. actually the celebrated on X-mas eve.. but it i reach home at about 2am.. so it's CHRISTMAS!! LOL!!! i didn't mean to hang out so late... but.. hahas!!! who cares!! not as if i'm out somewhere loitering or something... xD oh ya oh ya!! THANKS ASHLEY DARLING FOR THAT WONDERFUL SILVER ANKLET!!!! ;DDD i totally love it!! thanks!! ^^

hehs!! okays overall, its a fun night!!! xD loves!!!

Honest?

2008-12-20T12:19:00.000+08:00

You Are 68% Brutally Honest

Most of the time, you tell it like it is. Even if it's hard for people to hear.

Sometimes you hold back though, because you never want your honesty to be hurtful.

How Brutally Honest Are You?

BACK FROM CAMP!!!

2008-12-19T20:34:00.000+08:00

woots!! i'm like back from camp!! so freakin happy la!! ok.. it's like a prefect camp? and then for the sec 3, there are only 5 girls that actually attend the camp which the 5 are yueqin, regina, vali, qiao ting and myself!! though we felt kinda pathetic at the start.. but guess what? we had fun in our own special way!!! hahas!! ok... things like.. we laugh at each other and chat, care for each other during the whole camp.. like one happy family!! ^^ it seems as though we are like looking quite left out.. but to be honest, we're actually in our own world the whole damn time! hahas!

ok.. so the first day of camp, suppose to meet up with regina and yueqin to go school together... but as usual... i'm usually the last to arrive... -.-'' SORRY! hahas i really didn't mean to be late. because i forgot stuff and i've got to run up and down.. hehs.. ok... i won't be such a person that report what we did together everyday and stuff like that.. but i'll just brieftly say about the main things and the happy moments that i actually remember!!! ^^

ok... we made a great plan on how we are suppose to do up our sleeping styles and stuff on the first day.. and decided to put all the tables together which made it look like a really HUGE BED!! and it's really nice!! ok.. then another major thing is.. we taught each other different languages... ok... Vali taught me how to speak tamil~!! it's totally cool alright?! and when the 3 other girls in our crazy group are not here, Vali continued teaching me how to pronounce the words and stuff.. and guess what? she suddenly said.. "Wa Shermeen! not bad ar... you are really good in tamil without me giving you the pronounciation!!"

and of course i got a shock because it's like kinda easy and fun to speak the tamil language... [ and i highly suspect that i'm able to speak and get a hang of it so easily is because of that stupid felix... can't blame.. when he talk... he had this tamil thing in him that even if he say english, it totally sound like tamil.. and i think that's where i get those tamil feel from. hahas!! ] so yeah.. speak and learn like crazy!! oh.. then Vali wanted to learn how to speak chinese too!! but you know, my chinese is CMI... so yeah!! i'll have my darling laogong YueQin to teach her!! and Vali is able to speak chinese too!!! and then all 5 of us started being crazy and talk to each other in different language. hahas!!

ok... then just happen that the Crazy 5 of us have to help out at the hall for the N' lvl results release thing... and it's like Only the 5 of us are in it!! so we're all well prepared to give it our all and go super crazy! hahas!! XD ok.. and met loads of sec 4NA people which is like a duh thing.. and during that time.. we are still learning each others language and YueQin actually taught Vali to say "wo yao ni de ai" then i was like laughing like crazy till i fall to the floor and laugh. hahas! it's totally embarassing alright. not kidding at all... BUT!!! i can't seem to be able to get myself to stop laughing.. hahas!!

ok... then after that, helped out and stuff. after everthing is done, went back to out "home" for the 5 crazy jackass which is the classroom to change back to our T-shirts... after that we can't find other people so we went to the speech and drama room which is actually the choir room to wait for the rest to come back.. talked a lot.. laugh a lot... had fun!! and... we took some pictures and sang a Lovely song Together. But... i think the song shall not be known to the public just yet because i think i will laugh like crazy!! hahas!~~ and i'll have to discuss with the other 4 crazy girls as well...

Here are some of the Pictures~~!! =D

Crazy5 styles... hahas!

Our happy family~! xD

Our normal picture of the 5 ^^

going time!! suppose to be Titanic.. but.. turn out.. hahas!!

been tagged

2008-12-16T16:21:00.003+08:00

Who's the person who tagged u?
-Wei Mei =]

Relationship between you and her?
-Goodie friends!!

5 impressions?
-Friendly
-Kind
-Cheerful
-Smart
-Just plain SWEET

If she becomes your enemy, you will?
-try to resolve what's between us. =]

What will you say to the person you like very much?
-Nothing (the person that i like will know that they're loved by me already) ^^

Characteristies I like about myself?
-Being straight forward

Characteristies I hate about myself?
-Being TOO straight forward.. -.-''
-Always tries to tame my mouth but doubt it ever works
-Having to be in this family
-People thinks that i'm acting when i'm really trying my best to be a better person

For the person you hate, you say?
-Why must turn into such a person that i've to hate you?

What do people feel about you?
-I don't know? Different people different judgement i guess?

Your crush?
-Crush? last time have. now don't. it's a Good Thing ;)

Most ideal person you wanna be?
-Wanna know? ask me ^^

Pass this to 10 ppl.
-Lazy to pass...

losing someone?

2008-12-14T00:41:00.000+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Where Your life is Going
Disappointment
Commitment
Looked down on
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

i think i've learnt my lesson...

2008-12-11T09:57:00.000+08:00

hmmm.... have been thinking back and self reflecting lately... it's like everything i've done seems to be wrong in a way or another... like... i though by being a bestie we're suppose to tell one another things that we don't think is right about them and stuff so that they can change for the better... but for what i know, my bestie turn out to be really hurt by what i've said and actually cried... i'm sorry... i seriously didn't mean it that way...

hmmm as for today, supposingly the clique are suppose to watch a movie together. due to some unhappy events, i actually flared up at ashley[stead] and like when she is not actually the one to be blame.. and yeah... i was really sorry for what i did, so i went to apologise to her... even though after all the sorrieS i've said, i still can't seem to get over with the guilt i have... and like this is one of the first time i ever flare up till the extend i went home. so... i don't know what's wrong with me? or maybe everyone else is right and i'm the one that's in the wrong...

oh well... seriously don't know what's wrong with me? and i don't know when will i do the wrong things at the wrong time... it's like... i don't want others to be sad or anything when we're all besties after all... so i guess.... next time... all comments will be kept to myself and i will remain silent and not to say a word and just let people be themselves =] friends are like the most important thing in my life? so yeah.. i don't and never would wanna hurt them... but i just don't get it... like to me it's the right thing to do.. but end up, to others it all seems to be wrong..

i must be some freak that ever have that kind of stupid mind i guess. hahas! but yeah... from now on, i think keeping everything to myself would be the best opinion. ^^ and i hope everything will go fine since i stop saying anything. since what ever i say or do seems to be wrong. but no worries!! xD i will change to keep my this stupid mouth that is being so straight forward... and just smile smile smile and everything will be fine!!! =D

so no worries peeps!! i won't bite~ hahas! and as for friends, no worries man!!! i'll just keep my mouth shut. -.-'' sorry for all the wrong things i say.. i promise next that next time i will not do it again!! because it won't happen again anyway... just hope i do not become a introvert. =]

will i still be the same??

CHOCOLATE SALES! xD

2008-12-07T21:36:00.012+08:00

And... yupps!! there's now a chocolate sales going on!! xD well... it's due to X-mas though.. hahas! ok... it's like this... the chocs will come in a form of a packet. and EACH packet have 10 PIECES of dark chocs with hazel nuts. ^^

The more you buy, the more you earn!!
SAVE MORE money as you BUY MORE!!

1 Packet - $6.50

By right 1 piece of dark choc is $0.70 and there are 10 in each packet so.. it's suppose to be $7. cheaper by $0.50

2 Packets - $12 [$1 CHEAPER if buy 2 packet!]

By right 1 piece of dark choc is $0.70 and there are 10 in each packet so... 2 packets suppose to be $14 but now its only $12! (cheaper then the original price by $2!!)

3 Packets - $17 [$2.50 CHEAPER if buy 3 packet!]

By right 1 piece of dark choc is $0.70 and there are 10 in each packet so... 3 packets suppose to be $21 but now its only $17! (cheaper then the original price by $4!!)

4 Packets - $22 [$4 CHEAPER if buy 4 packet!]

By right 1 piece of dark choc is $0.70 and there are 10 in each packet so... 4 packets suppose to be $28 but now its only $22! (cheaper then the original price by $6!!)

5 Packets - $27 [$5.50 CHEAPER if buy 5 packet!]

By right 1 piece of dark choc is $0.70 and there are 10 in each packet so... 5 packets are suppose to be $35 but now it's only $27!! (cheaper then the original price by $8!!)

6 Packets - $32 [$7 CHEAPER if buy 6 packet!]

By right 1 piece of dark choc is $0.70 and there are 10 in each packet so... 6 packets are suppose to be $42 but now it's only $32!! (cheaper then the original price by $10!!!)

This is a seriously YOU GAIN my LOST deal.... but because it's X-mas!!! XD woots!!! so yeah.. there's a sale going on... if you don't believe that my chocs are actually selling for that Ex, please kindly check my post on the SEPTEMBER 16th.. there are all the original prices!! ;DDD

those who wanna order more then that, or chocs without nuts or white chocs, leave a tag or Text me. =] i only sell to those whom i know... and if u think it's Unsafe to eat, Don't buy. ^^

this is how the packet will look like. ^^

BBQ in the rain? ur attitude...

2008-12-04T23:18:00.012+08:00

BOO BOO BOO~! hahas! today we had a BBQ gathering with all our friends that we have to pay like $20 per person.. it's like kinda crappy? because it's so expensive! and guess what, it has been raining about the whole damn day... amanda[mummy], choy pheng[ah ma], yuehan and myself went to east coast park by cab as yuehan said that the BBQ stuff are coming and we got to be there to like pay? it was stilling raining though... and we're like holding umbrella at the BBQ pit.

in the end we're unable to take it and so amanda[mummy] the bravest! went to ask the indians whom were already in the shelther whether we could share the space.. overall had a fun but wet time...

~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~<>~

would like to say something.... i'm sorry that this would sound kinda crude... but hope you'll understand.. and i think that i'll be typing this out because everyone don't wish to tell you about it.. but as a bestie of yours.. i think i ought to be the one telling you? but everyone stopped me saying that it might hurt you.. ok... first things first... i just realise that actually many peeps were really unhappy with your attitude... as in.. i know you're not well ike by other girls for example.. as they think that you're a bitch... but im telling you this because the people that you are close to are actually complaining that your attitude is really bad.

such as today at the BBQ... you just gave a black face all if a sudden and that attitude of yours totally change... i'm not trying to be a very jackass person here... as i know everyone do have emotions as well... but... just because of your black face... everyone has been wondering what happen and stuff like that.. and that you have to show me your attitude as well... maybe it's not really your fault because maybe you're unhappy or something... but you know... i'm a really straight person and you know that i don't like to beat around the bush... so ya.. actually you can just come to me and clarify what happen or something that made you unhappy or sad...

although the complains i receive are like before the BBQ... but yeah? your attitude is there at the BBQ as well.. so i just mentioned it.. well... i don't wanna mention names of who complains to me about you and stuff... as i know they are merely just trying to tell me your attitude sucks. but so? you will always remain like that if no one were to tell you. and duh... i can't let that happen? ok... complains were like saying.. oh... you are really rude and always needed attention from other people if not you'll show attitude to them.. and when you show attitude, you either walk infront or behind..[that's if we're walking], show us your black face and give attitude when we talk to you, your replies will be really blunt... as though it's written all over ur face that you are.. "BU SHUANG" and most said that you always wanted to be the center of attraction if not you'll be unhappy...

oh well... and everyone really dislike talking to you on msn, sms or phone? because they said that you really sounded like a bloody pain in the ass rude person. i don't know? maybe you didn't mean to... but.. i seriously doubt so as your text msg can be really nice when you are asking something or stuff.. and i know that your "unable to communicate cyberly" illness has already been cured... but at this stage i've been receiving complains? and when i checked my phone for messages, you told me... "oh... you've got to check your phone... i don't even need to check mine as i know that nobody will sms me".. well, there you've got it, no one really message you because they don't want themselves to be pissed, irritated, angry or unhappy by the replies you send them back.

honestly, almost everyone complains to me about you being really rude, bad attitude or blah blah blah... but like the point is... there is no point for them to tell me because i'm not you. and i can't do anything even if they tell me. so.. yeah.. but i'm seriously sure that they want you to change for the better in terms of your attitude because as you know, i will certainly ignore those people that says bad things about you when they are not even our close friend.. but.. ya... just to let you know, the people that complain to me about you bad attitude are actually those people that you have been hanging out with most of them time and that they are your close friends. therefore i think since it has come to this point, there must be something that you ought to change...

i won't say out your name as this is my blog and i don't know who may read it.. and i'm showing you that i'm treating you as a bestie if not i would not be wasting my time typing all these. so i think that everyone still treats you as a good friend that's why they are telling me this.. although they put it in a kinda bad way... but ya... and ya.. there are certainly much more then that to talk about your attitude... but.. lazy to type too much.. anyway.. we are all not perfect either.. so.. maybe you treat us as your bestie as well so you'll be jealous that we're not talking to you and instead talking to someone else or something... and that jealousy also occurs because i'm sure you treat us as besties as well that's why you'll be jealous or unhappy.

everyone has their flaws and nobody is perfect.. but since we spotted a huge flaw in you, maybe it's time for you to make some changes... and please don't ask me am i refering to you and stuff like that... you will know who you are.... so if for people that are not sure if it's you, that just think back to see if your attitude has been right lately... well, it's never too late to change and bestie like me will certainly help you! because........ well........ good friends are hard to find.... but i just happen to know one, which is you. =D if there is anything and you know that it's you and you've read my blog, you can go ahead and clarify things with me... or maybe why you're like that and stuff... but.. don't ask me who are the people that complain... well... of couse i can't sabo them.. but i'm sure they're all for your own good =]

i hope you know i'm refering to you... and i'm sure that everyone are telling me everything because they are at their limits... so... i'm seriously not being mean or anything... as i still treat you as a bestie that... you should have a change in you attitude... =')

struggling to let go!!!

2008-12-02T02:14:00.002+08:00

this was actually written quite long ago as a draft... i didn't actually post it on to the blog as i have my difficulties... but now see le.. also can't delete and i don't wanna keep it as a draft... so.. oh well... might as well just post it...

tsk! why is it like so hard make a decision?!?! you know the feeling i'm having now is so crap?! and yet it's so hard to explain to people how i'm actually feeling and that i can only keep everything to 3 person.. i, me and myself. -.-'' it's like... who in the hell will be stuck in this kind of condition!!! i think that i like you? and that i'm falling deeply into it?

and right after i fall into it, i realise u have a girlfriend. and what's worse is the girlfriend of yours is one of my good friend. what am i gonna do? cling on like some bitch? i didn't even realise u have a stead until like... recently?! really heart broken when u said that la.. but not as bad when i know it's like one of my good friend.

although u said that u don't really like her and stuff, that's not the point you know? it's like.. you are already so popular. just like what you tell me before, you can always get a stead anytime as you are not lacking of any.. it's like... even if i'm a retarded, i know it will never ever be me. totally like less then 1% chance it'll be me?

to be honest, i don't exactly know if i'm really like into u as in to that kind of bgr relationship.. but what i know is that.. i'm more or less attracted to you? and that.. love chatting and talking to you and stuff... it's really hard to let go... but it's really pain to keep holding on... when i know the out come will not be any better for me...

~since im gonna post this.. i'll just add on~

and then just recently, you keep on giving me this form of HOPE as thought that it might just happen out of the blue? it's like killing me la.. you said you don't like her and during the event for the sec 4NA gathering... you're the one that ask me to go.. and not the rest. like what is this? and like you said you're gonna break up with her and tell her that you both are not suitable..

then after that you add on by saying... shermeen and i are more suitable. like what crap? like what kind of bullshit are you saying? like why are you giving me this form of like HOPE? when i know that it will never ever happen? and during the event, infront of her, you talked to me. but not her... and i've been out with her like the day before and stuff? she actually knows that i call you Pooh?!

then i was totally tongue tied when i wanna answer? and then she way she was talking to me is like.... with that kind of attitude as though we're having some kind of relationship behind her back... i really don't wanna have anything going on and i really don't know what to do. i like you but she's my best friend. like what am i exactly doing?! she was like... YOUR pooh and blah blah blah... i don't like it you know..

and then the gathering i saw you smoke?! like WHAT THE FUCK?! but i know that you didn't want me to see? and that you got to hide it? but the other time you said that you stop smoking already... and then i saw you... like..... nearly broke down? i don't know? first i was not really happy as you were smoking? but then you hid it from me and don't wanna let me see because you don't wan me to learn?!

and because of that stupid gathering for the BBQ then you were like BBQ-ing satays... and then you gave all of them to me... but i said that you don't know how to cook and it's still not yet cooked... and then you are like so disappointed... like what can i do? your gf was there?! and you didn't bother to offer her and instead offer me?!

i seriously don't know... still kinda shocked over the smoking thingy? but i really like you... ARGH! i just seriously hate myself for getting into this kind of situation. i know it's never good to fall in love with someone because it sucks. -.-'' i actually gave up on you already that's why i didn't post this? but like CAN YOU STOP GIVING ME THAT DAMN BLOODY FAKE HOPE?!?! it's not as if we'll ever be together.

every action you did is like affecting me so much. and why i like you? because you're handsome? it's like NO? you're fat? and i have no idea why the hell i would actually fall in love with you?! and i have no idea what attracted me either. it's total crap. usually is guys like me? but now i'm actually liking a guy?! and for my life, usually the guys that i don't like will like me and the guys they i like will COMFIRM not like me?

so i hate it because i like you. and if i like you means... you die also won't like me... totally crap manzxzx.... your gf is my good friend.... what the hell am i suppose to do?! give you up quietly? i guess that's the one and only way? because even if you suddenly out of the blue or something happen to like me... and if i were to accept you... i will be a what? bitch? i can't man...

AND I DON WANNA BE IN LOVE BECAUSE I KNOW IT HURTS.

ROSES!!

2008-12-01T14:55:00.000+08:00

roses roses roses!! every girl would wish that their guys are romantic.... but you know... some are just plain dumb.. so can't be help... BUT! now there are tips for ROSES!!! like to buy how many and stuff like that really need some knowledge!!!

Here are the number of ROSES..

1 Love at first sight, you're the one

2 Mutual love between both, deeply in love with one another

3 I love you

6 I wanna be yours

7 I’m infatuated with you

9 An Eternal love, together as long as we live

10 You are perfect

11 You are my treasured one; the one I love most in my life

12 Be my steady

15 I am truly sorry, please forgive me

20 Believe me, i'm sincere towards you

21 I'm devoted to you

24 Can't stop thinking about you, 24hrs everyday

33 Saying I love you with great affection

36 I'll remember our romantic moments

40 My love for you is genuine

50 Regretless love

99 I'll love you as long as i live

100 Harmoniously together in a century; remaining devoted as couple

101 You are my one and only love

108 Pls marry me

365 Can’t stop thinking about you, each and everyday

999 Everlasting and Eternal love

1000 Ready to open roses store.. HAHAS!!

well... that's about all yeah... good luck in peeps that are in a relationship XD

Lost?!

2008-11-29T22:50:00.003+08:00

where are u... i'm lost......

honestly... i'm seriously having a sense of lost... like... the phobia is overwhelming... i may seem to be fine.. like all the time? but these days are like a total hell to me. the phobia in me kept occuring, over and over again without letting me have a break. [ ppl that do not know my phobia.. don't ask.. my good friends should know. ] i know from young i had this phobia.. and that whenever my Maid is around, i wont actually feel that kind of phobia? and like to me, my maid that i have last time, she is not just a maid....

To me, she was actually like a very very VERY best friend i had that will be staying over at my house for a long time. she was here with me since i was born till i think primary 5. last time she was my everything. watching over me and taking care of my as parents are like.... you know... and so... in my family.. actually, she is the person i put first at place. you all might wonder why.. like she is just a maid or something... honestly... i have no idea why.. maybe that's just how close we are.

many years have passed already and she is not around with me, my phobia has always been there but before that, there was a period where it did not occur that frequently... and like it's getting worse again.. however, this time round, things are not the same anymore.... i don't have such best best best BESTEST friend in my life? like my maid[beth] and that my parents sucks? especially my mum. and that... my best friends around now may just mood swing or turn their back on my anytime?

i'm not trying to say that my best friends now sucks or anything.. that's not the main point.. the thing is.. when my phobia comes, i have really no one to turn to and i have to keep quiet and bear with it. i don know how the fear in me occur... and i don't know how to make it go away either? and what's worst is i'm stuck with myself. even at home the phobia occuring... what does this actually show? i have 2 kinds of phobia, first is to boys and second is the feeling of lost.. i can even feel the feeling of lost at home?!

i seriously wonder am i actually a part of my family or not... my mum is simply like shit? can u believe that my mum actually didn't bother to ask how is my camp and stuff as i just get back from camp and up till now i have not even said a word to my mother. i seriously don't know what to do. Cry? tears are rolling down my cheeks... because i don't know what is a family. pathetic aye? whatever i do seems to be always wrong in the family.. who can like help me? all i can do is smile like an idiot bluffing myself to think that i'm damn happy.

im... lost.....

Beads Maddness!!

2008-11-22T03:15:00.003+08:00

errr..... hmm.. how to put it... just realise the illness i got... and... it cannot be cured... so yeah.. hahas... i have psoriasis... so guess... though it can't be recovered... well... life still goes on!! xD

ok.. today my darling cousin Dion came over to my house!!!! well... her Jc prom is coming up and that she came my house to ask if i can make a necklace out of beads just for her "UNIQUE" HOT PINK TUBE DRESS~! woots~~~!!! first time hearing my cousin wear something so revealing hahas!!! so well, she said her since its a tube, the top part seems to be very bare and so she wanted me to make her a necklace... and.... so.... of cuz i did!! xD what are cousins for manzxz!! hahas!! XD

well... at first there was some problem going on with Ashley[stead] and that she had called me up crying... "tsk tsk tsk... those that made her cry uh... aiyo......." ok... so i taught my cousin what's my design that i design for her and stuff and teach her everything so that she can do the beads while i can know more about what happen over at Ashley's side....

after awhile... [ and the awhile is like after a few hours -.-'' more then 3 hours... ] my cousin did the beads and stuff and realise the string was too short to continue!! -.-'' and then messed the whole thing up... so... she was kinda disappointed in a way... as she took more then 3 hours and in the end nothing is done... and so.. i was like... uh... it's ok la.. we can do again ^^

and so i cut up everything and use a new piece of string that is DAMN long... lolxD and do up everything. ^^ and sooo...... here's the end product!! my cousin wore it to let me see and i took a pic!! she was really really happy like some freak crazy asshole. LOL!

The necklace i made out of beads... with Dion my cousin wearing it!! =D

hurted?

2008-11-19T22:06:00.003+08:00

hahas... eh... i don't know how to put it... hurt? or just plain unhappiness? i sometimes wonder myself. i had some sickness with my skin and my bone... wanted to go visit a doc.. like on tuesday.. but my good friend suddenly turn me down as she said she've got to celebrate her friend's birthday.

so i was like.. "oh ok.. hahas birthday is more impt.. not prob ^^" then my good friend said.. "oh well, i'll go with u on thursday instead =D" and im like sure no prob! lets go on thursday then! xD and like today she text me saying that she can't go with me on thursday which it's like tmr.. so i was like.. "oh.. anything cropped up at the last min?" and my good friend was like.. " yeah.. blah blah blah.. ask me to have lunch with her and so i cant follow u to the doc tmr."

ok... i don't know if it is right for me to get kinda unhappy because like.... my good friend can't accompany me to the doc because my good friend has to go have lunch with her friend. and so i said.. " its alrite ^^ having lunch is impt =D " and so i just try to let go and drop the matter.. after that, i went to ask my mother[REAL] to accompany me to the doc.. and she said.. "NO... i'm going facial tmr"

i..... hahas... i'm speechless.......

i'm over it.

2008-11-17T00:53:00.003+08:00

well, i guess im over it?
i doubt that even if i give it my all,
nothing will happen between us.
all wishful thinking yeah?
oh well, don't wanna get hurt.
guess i'm over it. xD

YAY!! today P.. edmund came back from M'sia!! LOL!! don't ask my why i so "high" thanks. hahas!! ok then... today, went out with ashley, amanda[mummy], leon and jianxiong for movie... and i kept De-Siao-ing jianxiong because FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I ACTUALLY HEAR HIM SAYING HE IS GOING OUT WITH A GIRL ALONE!! sounds crazy rite? see jianxiong always like so guai guai like that.. hahas!! ok.. then in the end.. Ashley and Amanda[mummy] all De-Siao him as well.. kinda funny in a way la.. since we all can take jokes. ^^

after that... went to walk around and laugh laugh laugh like nobody's business and then... HOME! =D hahas!!

Celebration day!! XD

2008-11-13T01:32:00.007+08:00

can never tell what's gonna happen next.
since the key has already been taken.
being not able to enter,
the feeling is miserable.
Being the last to know,
realise it was one of my bestie that entered.

Woots!! today went to celebrate WeiMei's birthday although her actual birthday is like not today... but well, everyone else have no time to spare on any other days. so... celebration is today!!! ;DDD ok first we decided to go out the whole day! but then due to some probs over on weimei's side with her parents, we're only allowed to go out for a few hours.. like... 4 hours. yeah!! so we the MAIN meeting time with weimei is 1pm at tiong plaza. =D

the peeps that came to celebrate the birthday were... cherlyn, magbelle, amanda[mummy], choypeng[ahma], angel[great grand ahma], jianxiong[great grand ah gong] and of course ME!! ;DDD cherlyn, magbelle and i decided to meet earlier to prepare some stuff for the stupid and crap surprise!! LOL! because since it's a girl, can't have birthday bash yeah? so.... in other words, it did not mean NO PUNISHMENT! there is!!! LOL! cherlyn, magbelle and i design a banner to hang it on weimei. LOL! it's kind cute la.. then the actual thing was suppose to be like blindfolding her and walking around.

first we went to popular bookstore to buy all the stuff we needed... bought things like vengard sheet[not sure correct spelling or not -.-''], markers and scissors!! ok... paid everything, then went up to 6th floor to work on the beautiful master piece... hahas!!! ok.. then only when we are about to start drawing and stuff, we realise we forgot to buy glue!!! then later heard that edmund is coming over to tiong so i called him to buy glue. but after sometime, weimei called me up saying she have already reached. The 3 of us are in a panicked state?! because the banner was not even done yet. so i took the present that was gonna be given to weimei.. which is a dress from double index XD and to make her wear it. weimei went to the toilet and of course i waited for her... ;DDD

when i was waiting for her, i receive a call from kelvin which was ALREADY with yuehan long ago.. saying that he saw amanda at grillers.. and ask me if i would want to go up to find amanda[mummy] or not. at start, i was happy!! like duh? like amanda[mummy] was here at tiong together with choypheng[ahma] and angel[great grand ahma]. so i WANTED to go up to grillers to find them... BUT THEN suddenly there was a voice at the back of the phone saying... "walau eh... kelvin... why you ask her come sia.." which was obviously yuehan's voice? and the next moment i heard it, like duh? i was effin pissed la. why would i go when some jackass just said such a thing as though im not welcome.

so.... i showed kelvin attitude.[ abit no link la.. cause it's not like his fault.. but oh well.. he got my bomb.. too bad.. LOL! ] i just scolded him on the phone saying.. "if someone don't wan me to come. i so asshole go show up for wat!"[wanted to scold bad word... but i didn't XD] after saying, i just hang the call feeling kinda piss off. after weimei done changing, in order to store more time for cherlyn and magbelle to complete everything, brought weimei to walk around tiong aimlessly... hahas!!! it's kinda crap la.. so after i called them and said if they are done so that weimei and i can go to the 6th floor to meet them up.[ well... glad they we smart enough to hide everything that was done XD ]

so now... cherlyn, magbelle, weimei and i are all at the 6th floor.. [ and as for the banner thing... glue was not needed as we draw directly into the vengard sheet and so its not like some cut and paste thing. ] after that we decided that we're all done at tiong so we decide to proceed to vivo.. when we're on the lift down, edmund called me up asking me where i am. so i asked him back where is he. then he said.. "u tell me u at 6th floor mah. of course i'm at 6th floor la." then i'm like... " WTH?! im in the lift going down?!?!" so.. after that.. the girls all went up to 6th floor again.

saw edmund, kelvin and yuehan.... when edmund pass me the glue, i seriously can't stand it that i really LMAO... and its serious!! i am like LAUGHING ME ASS OFF!!! LOL! you know what glue edmund bought?! he bought SUPER glue!! LOL! hahas!! i'm really sorry la.. it may not be really funny to you guys.. but seriously lor!! it's like the first time to me la!!! someone actually bought SUPER glue... hahas!!!! ok then... yuehan and i are kinda cold towards each other lately..[as in Friendship -.-'' ] and so.. only smile at him... then later kelvin talked to me.. so yeah i've like got to stop laughing to reply him.. after kelvin talk to me, edmund came talking to me.. but i can't help it... because of the super glue thing.. i see edmund face i will laugh like CRAZY la!!! LOL!

then later, kelvin talks to me again and i stop laughing and replied him.. and then edmund talks, i laugh again!! LOL!!! okok.. then edmund was like.. " MEEN! U R SO BIAS!! U TALK TO KELVIN SO NICE U TALK TO ME ONLY LAUGH LIKE SIAO! " [ i'm sorry la.. seriously very funny.. hahas!! ] so after that i tried to calm down and talk to him.. LOL!! soon we all got out of 6th floor and then cherlyn was thirsty so magbelle and weimei accompanied her to go get a drink. =] so after that i was like.. oh.. ok lets go see if amanda[mummy] is still there or not.. and oh well, she is! xD so went in to have a chat with them.. and kelvin is like suppose to join in the celebration. BUT HE PS! hahas cant blame anymore la... he is too well known for being a PSK le.. so no point being angry =D

after that was trying to fix up the banner thingy.. so i asked cherlyn, magbelle and weimei to go vivo. then soon after amanda, angel, choypheng and i we to vivo to meet them up too! then... eh.. jianxiong was already there cause of some reasons... [ SORRY! =X ] lolxD and then after all was at vivo, the celebration start!! muahahahha!! there are 2 pics to show that can explain everything xD.

this is weimei with the banner xD [front view]

weimei with banner on... [backview] =D

you don't needa feel very PAISEH or what.. because honestly, what's there to be PAISEH for when it's your birthday? you are suppose to be proud of it! SMILEYS! xD

what words can be use to describe?
who can understand how i'm feeling?
even if u said there's no love for her,
you are so popular.
being able to pick what you like,
not lacking of any.
why did i fall for you?
i don't know....

spring cleaning!!

2008-11-12T02:25:00.006+08:00

If a miracle ever happens to me,
i guess it would be a fairytale come true.
But everything shattered into pieces,
the place has already been filled.
What makes it so hard to let go?

Well, today friends came my house!! =D did a whole lot of cleaning packing and throwing of stuffs!! woots~!! ok la.. everything was quite fun. but really tire after that... =P and then i realise we were all so damn hungry that i actually forget the time and no one reminded me!! -.-'' hahas!! okok then i quickly get changed and pack my stuff back and my friends and i went to tiong for lunch!! chat a lot... and there are like people EMO-ing... people busy SMS-ing... and of course i must be busy eating. hahas~! XD

oh well.. after that went for choir and then..... blah blah blah. then came home! =D ok.. then i don't really know what's wrong with my family? hehs... but it's alright!! xD can't let small things like this to make me sulk the whole night. so.... after awhile, IM FINE! ;DDD lol!! then after that it was already quite late... so just rot right in front of my computer feeling happy that my room looks neater.... [ although some ppl just don't appreciate the efforts of what my friends and i have done. ] =D

some pics of the spring cleaning!! xD hahas!!

All the cards were played,
can't change the fact of the ending.
Though it hurts so much,
there's nothing that can be done.
Been years since i met the one,
but i've got no choice.
I've got to let it go....

hurted

2008-11-10T16:32:00.003+08:00

i just wanna say that my brother SUCKS. i was always being nice to him.. well, to say nicer then before, and believe me. i was SO MUCH NICER! thinking that he would know how to appreciate everything that i had done and at least feel grateful. but i was really dumb founded when he just shout in front of my face. i makes me wonder over and over again.. is it worth it to spend so much time and effort to be nice to someone that i love just hopping that he would do the same.

but through this, i've learned my lesson and that all the tears i dropped now will stop after this event. a dream or hope, will always remain as it is. really really really hurted. maybe i'm weak? i don't know.. i just feel that everyone in my family sucks... i always wanna believe that they are really nice to me and blah blah blah... but i realise i was just bluffing no one but myself...... and i can tell no one about this? supposingly i was cleaning my room and clearing some stuff.. but because my bro raise his voice at me and was so hurt that i can just tear and stop everything im doing just to blog about it?

guess it affects me a lot yeah? how i wish i won't have feelings.. i don't wanna feel sad or be hurt. and its the best if i have no emotion. because i don wanna be hurt and i don mind paying the price of not being happy too.. oh well, don wanna think too much. just be me and me and things will go FINE! xD so.. just continue loving ba =D

really touched

2008-11-09T12:56:00.003+08:00

as life is boring, today i really wanna thank a special someone that has always been there for me. although i don't know the person in real life... but i have know the person online for like.. already more then 3 years? and that's real real long ok... why am i talking about this? it's because usually online friends, as some may know though games. usually when u stop playing a certain game, even if u added your friend in msn. through time and time again, the friendship may drift as there is no more common topic for you and your friend to talk about.

but for my this friend Guo Jie. i knew him when i was like playing maple? and like as you know, i've stop playing maple for don't know how many years already. but guess what, we're like still talking? XD and that's really like a damn great thing.. although now a days he has been playing dota. but ya.. and im talking bout this friend because he is someone that is not easily found that is like damn kind can? i talked more bout it later. about Guo Jie, as you all know.. i am like so freaking lousy in my chinese?! and so sometimes when i was like typing to him. and wanted to call him... i like accidentally typed it wrongly and i called him Gou Jie. -.-''

i know it's like pretty embarassing by calling someone's name like that.. and still have that person HIMSELF to correct me >.<>

and like its already like 12plus AM in the like morning? and hey.. we're not like talking weekends? its like weekdays. so means the next day we all have school. Guo Jie is a year older then me and he is in NA. but for his school, he was pro in maths and he is like a NA taking Amaths.. yeah.. and like he actually helped me in my Amaths.. when its already so late at nite. [ im stating about this because not many friends would even do that even if that person is your good friend. ] and im seriously not saying this for fun. because as you know... i am like really blur? and like since he is a online friend. we don't like call each other? and like you know if good friends, they will like try to explain to you in msn and stuff like that?

BUT just because im DAMN BLUR, i don't even get a thing he said in msn... -.-'' [ i know.. im very crap -.-'' ] yeah... usually by this point of time, most friends would have said things like.. " aiya.. then i don't know how to help u liao.." or like.. " its late already.. i needa go sleep.. have school tmr.. " you know like stuff like that usually occurs? but to Guo Jie, he did not. he actually tried to explain over and over and over more then like 10 times? and like just because i don't get it, he actually went to do it on a paper and scan into his computer JUST to send it to me so that i can take what he do as reference.. and like when i recieve the thing from msn after he sented me, i was more touched because he actually bored to write like very big? being afraid that i'm unable to see clearly. its like usually ppl use 1 line? but he uses like 2 lines..

nothing to blog...

2008-11-03T23:44:00.000+08:00

i m so so SO sorry!!! because i did not actually like update my blog yeah... its because i have been rotting at home ALMOST everyday? and ok la.. it was quite fun hahas!! but still kinda bored... and so ya ya ya.. and blah blah blah.. spended most of my time with a guy which i love/hate at times... and that is none other then BERNARD! TSK TSK!!! i see u study i can die la!!

can study study study until sleep?!?! PRO! hehs!! last time during my exams, u ask me to study study study!! and now is YOUR TURN!! hahas!! since u r having ur A lvls... i will also call u to STUDY STUDY STUDY!! XD and thanks for "TRYING" to help me find my earring... but in the end only wanna lie on my bed!! -.-'' hahas!! ;DDD although still can't find... but thanks! =]

last of all... tmr meeting PMFA... woots!! and and and, for YOU nare, jia you for your paper Tomorrow!!! xD best of luck! ^^

chocs MADDNESS!!! ;DDD

2008-10-30T19:58:00.002+08:00

okays!! today went to visit my dear friend lc at work!! and he was having a bad flu!! tsk tsk... so i brought him medicine too!! ;DDD ok.. after that, he went to have lunch with my parents and after lunch he went back to work and as for my parents and i, we went to "giant" the super market to get some stuff..

after that, we went off and went to holland V. to get chocs as i felt like making strawberry coated chocs!! =D and then later, i started making to chocs!! but the thing is.. first i started with white chocs.. but it was spoiled.. the choc din turn out as expected and my dad kept giving me his attitude? like wtf? but i tolerated every shit he gave me.. and i just said.. its ok.. in that case, lets try it with the dark chocs instead. =D

but my dad was as usual, showing his ass attitude and when i started stiring the chocs, he said.. " ok i do.. its simple... " then so i let him do.. and when i found out, the choc CANNOT MAKE IT AGAIN! its like.... can say like... burned chocs that cant be melted anymore. after that.. i was until that kind of point that i cant take my Dad's attitude anymore. so i just said.. "its ok dad =] i'll do everything on my own. u can take a rest outside.. ^^ "

actually i said that because.. i cannot stand his attitude and in my mind i am like thinking to myself.. [ urg... the more he does it the more its just gonna get ruin.. he this kind of attitude wanna make something nice? dream on.. ] and that he really went out and im all on my own! =D but i was happy about it because i can have a peace mind doing it and i won't have any fear some jackass would get angry.. because my dad keeps claiming that the steps i use for making chocs is different from the last time i made it..

so, he went to the living room... and so i started making chocs again.. ;DDD and.... guess what?! it turn out to be GREAT!! the chocs have the smooth loving sweet texture in it!! and after already was done, including dipping the strawberries with choc.. i told my dad!! saying " im done!! =D " and his first reaction was... " darling!! how did u ever do it!! faster tell me!! tell me!! " and i was like saying, i added am extra ingredient xD

and well, as i expected, he asked in excitment " what is the special ingredient u added?!?! " and i said.. " i added my heart and soul into making it =) " and he was like.... " hahas.. ok la.. what ingredient did u actually add? " then i said.. " im not lying!! i just added my heart and soul into making it~! " and he was like you actually add nothing? then im like i just told you what i added -.-''

and then he said.. " how can that be? " and i told my jackass that... " no matter what you do, you would have to put your heart and soul into the making of it.. besides, how can someone that is gonna make something so sweet and lovely be in such a angry and ass mood? of course the choc won't turn out nice. " and later he was stun by what i said and he said, i've learnt an important lesson XD..

MEEN ROCKS!!!! ;DDD

pai seh ar....

2008-10-29T17:05:00.008+08:00

I'm really really sorry peeps!! i did not post anything lately because all i've been doing is... watching Winx...[ yeah yeah yeah... the kiddy kiddy show.. hahas!! ] but oh well... since i watch so many of it, have also learn a lot from the show! so its not really wasted!! ;DDD but will try to post if my life gets much more interesting!! XD and you sure can count on that! ^^

ok... there is one thing i wanna say.. that is SO SO SO EMBARASSING OK!!! so.. im gonna change the colour to make it dimmer -.-'' ok.. today i went with friends to vivocity.. and... before that i went to buy some beads and met up with the rest.. went daiso so shopped for some delicious FOOD!! and then after that friends wanted to play arcade... as i Never play arcade.. because i find it a waste of money and its totally not worth it.. i didn't join in.. and so, i didn't pay $2 when everyone else did.. first they played bball.. and then later they asked me to join them in playing a game called "GoGoBALL"

if im not wrong.. and its like aiming and just radomly throw the balls at the HUGE touchscreen so that it can be detacted... had LOADS of fun throwing.. as its like "venting" my stress in some ways or another.. but i guess i used too much force on throwing.. that i actually strainned my right arm.. it hurt so badly that my arm can't really move.. but not to be a party popper, i did wear the pain on my face and instead just smile and told them my arm hurts.. hahas!!

ok... then after that they wanna play bball.. so just was like standing and watch.. then one of my friend which was MANDY, said.. " hey! lets play!! we'll start a new round all on our own and both of us will play " and i was like.. " i cant i cant... i really cant.. din play it before!! " but still, she insisted me to play with her and so i did -.-'' [ and it was a really big bad choice!! " as only play the normal type of bball and not the ones in arcade... i kept trying to shoot three pointer as i always air ball when im playing the normal bball.. and... since i have nv shoot before the arcade bball... i wasn't sure how much strength is needed for me to shoot...

well.. who cares.. i gave it a shot anyway.. and guess what.. my first shot.. THE WHOLE BALL FLY OUT OF THE THING AND CAME OUT AND IT GOT STUCK ON TOP! and i was like OMG?!?!?! then mandy was shouting like a crazy freak too -.-'' ok.. and not to be discourage, i went on for my second try and guess what... ITS MUCH WORST! THE BBALL ACTUALLY HIT DIRECTLY ON MY FRIEND'S FACE!! and i felt soooo guilty manzxz.... i didn't want it to happen.. T.T sorry~!!

ok.. the second thing i wanna talk about here is that some people may not know it.. but i seriously DO cherish all the friendship that have.. be it present or past.. =) and that it may be a reason or two that some friendship just stays frozen and some and still really heart warming ^^ BUT BUT BUT!!!! no matter what state they are in, friends will always be friends.. [ and that's from the bottom of my heart ] and im not saying anything here to boast of whatever sort... because like what i've always said, friends plays an important role in my life.. but no matter what happens, life goes on ^^

and for the people to think i am really weak and vulnerable, please doubt it... =) because i can be really sweet and nice, caring and kind.. but i'm never a push over! and if u ever wanna hurt me physically.. *Bring It On* but but but!! hehs... don't needa be afraid of me.. hahas!! i wont bite if you are friendly =D so if there is anything any of you needa ask me, feel free!! XD

HappyAlways~=D

performance again...

2008-10-25T23:50:00.008+08:00

performance again... so got this sian look -.-''

hahas!! oh well... today had choir performance AGAIN... and so have to gather at school... have been sleeping till like 12.30pm today? and i still go around telling people good morning!! LOL!!! ok its kinda stupid but ya know.. to me, its morning.. [ and can't blame me for waking up so late ya... was talking to Pooh yesterday... ]

basically i rotted/stone/day dream the whole day? all my friends seems so busy or maybe they are equally as bored as me that they reply me one word answers that make me more bored.. hahas!! but can't blame them ya... at least they bothered and i really appreciate it!!! ;DDD oh ya!! before i forgot. i made a hand phone chain for pooh... for his very very VERY belated birthday... well.... don't know if Pooh will like it.. but oh well.. made it simple. xD

and lastly... i just wanna say... i may not be the flawless girl... and i am never perfect. but, i am happy and contented with who i am and what i am. =D

mix feelins....

2008-10-24T21:01:00.003+08:00

heya people!! ok.. now.. whatever i post now.. don't question anything or ask me about it. because i don't know how to answer you and i don't think i would like to answer anything at all. and if u are my best friend, i know u won't ask about this.. =]

hmmm... i am like having this mix feeling that i can't even explain it myself. it keeps going on in my head like... " do i like you or not?! " and stuff like that... and its like i can't even give myself a definate answer because i seriously don't know what i'm feeling and that your attitude varies quite a great range? like you can be really nice to me at one point of time.. and like really just neglect me at some other times..

besides, you are not really as caring and nice that people would usually be? and u can be reluctant to do things.. and everyday its like the same boring thing to you that we have ran out of topic to talk about.. and you are not like working on it. and u don have any like iniative to even start a conversation and all you do is just to complain that you are bored.. it's like i'm also bored? and i'm also not meant to be a clown ya know?

hmmm... at the start, love chatting with you a lot... but as time passes by i realise that you keep on saying that you are bored.. and when i said i'm bored too, you just let it be and not only that, you still expect me to entertain you. even being as a friend, ain't you kinda demanding? and when we did not chat for sometime i felt weird... but its just time that i need? and so now i've done it. because i don wanna be an entertainner either do i wanna be a clown.. and if loving someone is so hard that i got to be treated like a servant, i would much rather be loved then to love.

and when i have really really made it not even to message you. you message me saying that we have drifted... well... i did not really tell you my actual answer when i replied you in the message... but my actual answer is.. " what can we do about it when u are not even making the effort to even bo bothered to start a topic with me? " sooo.... i guess you have your own group of friends as well.. and i doubt that i would wanna be in it since you already have sooooooooo much friends right? so i don't wanna be a nobody. because i don't deserve to be in that position at all. xD

there are soo many things i would wanna say.... but its so hard to tell what i'm trying to say or to express because i don't even know it myself... [ and i choose to blog it because i know you wont read it. ]

the HOT DATE! ;D

2008-10-23T20:41:00.007+08:00

WOOTS!!! today was went out on a date with my PMFA [weimei ] and it was so so cool ok?! first we went to like Holland.V to eat the SUPER cool ice cream.. which like they got to mix 2 types of flavour together and u can add toppings and mix it together!! and... the flavours i chose is Bubble Gum and Strawberry!! XD oh well... Wei mei suggested me to take that choice over the great range of ice cream the store has!! well.. and of course i followed her suggestion as i don't wanna eat something that i don like.

Besides that, i already wanted the Bubble gum flavour as it was kinda unique. but the thing is that i don't know what flavour goes well with it.. hahas!! thats why i took her suggestion. ^^ and the topping i added was KitKat.. while she added Nerds as her topping.. Woots!! both of our ice cream taste GREAT!! =D and took some pics!

My ICE CREAM!!! yum yum!! XD

Wei Mei!! ;DDD

Its ME!!! hahas!! lolxD!

okok!! then after having ice cream, went to Suntec City... followed by Plaza Sing.. hahas!! its was TOTALLY fun ok!! well.. its our first time out together and im really glad i had an enjoyable day with my friend ^^V

BOO BOO BOO!

2008-10-22T20:10:00.007+08:00

ok its kinda crappy but LOVE TODAY!! ;DDD hmmm... in the morning i went to republic poly for the opening of engineering week... and like they gave us soooooo much SPEECH!!! and guess what we're doing? ok.... some are listening to music... some are sleeping... some are slacking in the toilet... hahas!! so crap rite?! this is how boring it is man!!! and then later we had LUNCH!!! hahas and we made the guys get things for us and some other guys so clear things for us.. LOL!!
and.. here are some of the pics i took XD

our YueNing drinking... hahas!!

Yi Si at the background and Jia Ying.. =D eating cake!! :DDD

hehs... after all our eating... [ the one still with the food is our YUE NING'S!! xD ]

okok!! after that... its like SOOO CRAP can?! because the school only provide bus to go republic poly... BUT! they did not provide any transport back to school!! and we are like dismiss at republic poly? then getting in the way was the rain? which like the heaven love us so much and gave us so many dogs and cats -.-'' hahas!! but in the end made it to the MRT and was soo happy!!! xD

went back to school and prepare everything for the choir performance at the Holiday Inn.. and like... its kinda cool and stuff!! ;DD but, kinda tired as we all reach back home at 10plus to 11pm.

oh well... guess im retaining...

2008-10-20T17:01:00.002+08:00

oh manzxzxz.... im like retaining?!?! hahas!!! its like i don really pin much hope for myself to promote to sec 4E next year anyways... hahas!! the thing here is, i felt kinda bad to disappoint my dad... although he can be a pain in the ass at times... but.. oh well, know he loves me la.. ^^

today in school was so sucky man... its like block time table.. and it goes like... math, english, recess, math and english... and there r only like TWO SUBJECTS?! and i almost faint man!!! its so BORING~~~~ but!! i still survive it since im now blogging... hahas!!!

when im out there in the dark... who will be there to save me? when im afraid, who would be there to calm me down? in the sorrows of my memories, MeeN will SHINE!

visiting grandfather ;DD

2008-10-17T22:04:00.004+08:00

today same thing... also... SIAN!!!!! but but but!! although my life has been kinda bored by the lessons, its still great!!! erm... like.... i went to visit my grandfather at the st luke's hospital!! and like just hope he is fine ya... cant really communicate with him because i DON'T know how to speak hokkien... AT ALL...

oh well.. reached the hospital with my parents and like they talk talk talk talk talk... which i don't even know what they are actually talking about? but the thing is!! i took pics!! with my grandfather!! LOL!!!

my grandfather and i! ;DD

grandfather and i AGAIN!!! this time he is much more lively with the new TWIST sign i have taught him!! ;DD nice rite nite rite?! hahas!! no teeth also can have a lovely smile!! ;DD

whats up with this computer?

2008-10-16T21:50:00.000+08:00

BOO! hehs ;DDD

erm.. today nothing much? just went to school... and sec 3s POST EXAM was normal lessons!!! [ sian!!! -.-'' ] but oh well... the teacher say all have to go through even for the ppl that r dropping for retaining... and im like WTH?! okok...

then after school supposingly.. have no where to rot? so when to the bus stop right after school and like... waiting for bus 145 so that i can go home!! and when i reach the bus stop, i saw JOANNE!!! and like we chat.. and so she ask me to go to her house to see whats up with her CPU... as it cant work... so oh well, went to her house and she actually COOKED instant noodle for me!! [eh.. although its just instant noodle.. but!! i don even know how to cook.. so its pro to me ok!! ;DDD ]

and while she was cooking, i was taking a look at her donno how old the computer... and like actually took some pics of me the CPU that i was fixing.. hahas!!

i actually open it up? -.-''

and this pic is took cuz needa unpluged the cables and i have stm... so took a pic to rmb the position... hahas!! xD

lucky or unlucky?

2008-10-14T19:47:00.004+08:00

today.. as per normal, went to school and have lessons and stuff like that.. and then my form teacher, mrs leong.. is like called for my name.. then she have a chat with me as ask me some questions.. and like its like one of the question says how is u and ur family's relationship.. and then go very good great all that.. and the last is poor.. so i said poor.. and then BOMB! she ask so many questions about it and stuff.. and the last questiong she ask is.. if you were to give one word that best describe your relationship with your family, what word will that be?

and guess what... my answer to mrs leong is... the word.. " suck "

mother is a pain in the ass

2008-10-13T22:20:00.004+08:00

i am glad to announce that my MOTHER [real] is a BLOODY FUCKER AND A BLOODY PAIN IN THE ASS THAT ONLY KNOW HOW TO COMPLAIN TO MY DADDY BEHIND MY BACK AND THAT DARE NOT EVEN SAY IT INFRONT OF MY FACE! I HAVE ENOUGH OF U. BECAUSE U ARE JUST A JACKASS!

its like whats her fucking problem? she is pms-ing or what?! the moment she came home she just started scolding me like as though she is some fucking mad dog?! hey... if u r like bloody not happy with me? can u like just tell me in my face instead of just talking bad things about me behind my back?! and like i overheard the conversation that u and daddy are like having? which u say.. " SHE ACT AS IF I OWE HER A MILLION OF DOLLARS! " hello? like hell no did i say that? i even din wanna go for my jogging when its such a nice day and turn down the meeting with my freinds that were going to jog with me and waited for u to come home.. AND WHO IN THE HELL WOULD EXPECT THAT THE MOMENT U COME HOME U START SCOLDING ME!

pls lor... if u r not happy at ur workplace, it does not mean i will be damn bloody happy at school ok? everyone has their own problems and its only whether they wanna show it in their mood or NOT! and as for me, i choose to hide everything and u just like gave me ur fucking attitude? i wont take this shit of yours ok!? and can u like stop venting your anger on daddy?! its like he is also having a hard time and i could even see that and u r like having this... er... in chinese they say it " da xiao jie pi ji " like as though u are very big shot and having to vent ur anger on anyone u like ok.

and see! JUST BECAUSE DADDY IS YOUR HUSBAND AND HE WOULD USUALLY BELIEVE ALL THE SHIT YOU SAY INSTEAD OF MINE AND NOW HE IS LIKE SHOWING ME HIS BLOODY ATTITUDE?! whats like this family's problem ar?! sometimes i feel as though im like a TOTAL stranger just putting up at someone's house.. like where is the love man!! whats all the shit everyone is saying about family when MY FAMILY JUST SUCKS! and i hate my family! the reasons are...

1) my mother is fucking bias and she always have this hate towards me.

2) my dad always side my mother because he always thinks whatever my mother say is right.

3) other people's family will have family day and go out together and stuff, my family DON'T GO OUT TOGETHER AND SAYS THAT THERE IS NO POINT IN GOING OUT TOGETHER. and if we were to go out together, it will be to visit my grandfather or whatever. [ its not that i find going to visit my grandfather is something i don wish to do.. its like i totally don mind going to visit my grandfather but like... they call that FAMILY OUTING?! ]

4) everyone in the family rarely talk to me unless they have got something to ask me? ESP MY MOTHER.. she never ever talk to me about anything else except studies.. and if we were ACTUALLY talking about something else, no matter what it will link back to studies..

5) when i've done something well, normal parents would give their child encouragement and ask then to strive harder.. whereas for my parents, if i've done something well.. NO COMPLIMENT IS GIVEN and even pour wet blanket on me.

6) they will NEVER BELIEVE ME for anything i do and ALWAYS CHOOSE TO BELIEVE OTHER PEOPLE!

and the 7th thing... i hate the most about my family is.. i actually love them for who they are.

what's wrong with u ar?

2008-10-12T19:37:00.004+08:00

today did nothing except ROTTING at home... like one piece of shit like that.. LOL!! ok.. erm erm erm... actually i really did nothing except rot leh.. ahh.. it really sucks! oh yeah oh yeah!! and i got a DATE!! at the day where school ends!! LOL!! ok.. its not like a hot date or something.. but im really excited because we're gonna eat ICE CREAM!! yum yum!! just cant wait for it!!

ok.. and then there is like something growing in my body? so i have to like go do a xray and get an bloody opp to get it remove?! hahas!! think of it also sian... then later kinda depress already.. went back to msn.. see daddy[hongyeow] leave me a offline msg in msn.. and i read it and its like... WTH!!! wat kind of bloody attitude is that! so in the end.. i just shoot him a whole lot of offline messages.. hahas!!

ok.. then after that i realise my gan mei's audi acc got hack by like her bloody own fam members?! so i got pissed again and then i went to their fam blog and told them off.. and in the end they were not even sorry for what they did even though they actually said sorry? but don't even mean it at all? and in the end they were scare of me and cause of me they actually changed their fam's blog link... im like LMAO? are they suckers or what? somemore its not like the members of the fam that did it? its like the LEADER and the ASST LEADER... wow.. they ought to get shot.

then after all that crap.. i actually realise darling was actually at msn "singing" a song for me.. hahas!! ok.. not A song.. is a whole lot of songs!! and the lyrics were nice ;DD and this morning when i went into audi i actually saw darling there!! when he is a person that will NEVER go audi unless i asked xD and i actually saw him there!! LOL!! then the first thing i said to him was.. " OH MY GOSH!! you are actually ONLINE!! " hahas!! damn funny la.. oh ya.. and for readers info, i din actually play back audi... i just went in to see what are the changes and the clothes... and like thats all.. din really paly because skill lost already.. LOL!!

its totally crazy!!! XD

2008-10-11T23:40:00.000+08:00

yippes ppl!!! ;DD HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARMEN!!!!!!!!!!! woots!!
all rite, tmr is carmen's actual birthday!! but she celebrated her birthday today.. XD hmm... the peeps that went over her house to celebrate were.. amanda, choypheng, kaiyun, kelvin, leon, ashley, edmund, timothy, jianxiong, yuehan, i. er... i think thats all.. cant remember.. -.-'' hahas!! anyways, went over to her house with loads of presents!! ;DD and even a huge card that was done by me!! [hope she likes it xD] and.. well.. took dinner there as there was a buffet that was being set up.. after eating abit, we went down to play at the playground.. like some crazy ass kids and that mummy[amanda] and i were playing this game that she call it banana split and i call it split skirt.. but anyway.. its the same game..

and... this is how the crap game gones.. hahas! first we face each other.. and one foot touching the opponent... and then later the other foot behind out first foot and then we go scissors, paper, stone!! and then the winner gets to take a step back and so the opponent got to stretch their legs to the winner side.. hahas!! and like at first it only involves 2 players.. but mummy[amanda] and i have to involve like so many ppl because the split got sooooo far that it needa 3 people to do split.. hahas!! and its like so crap!! xD but very fun indeed!! the 3 poor guys that have to stretch together with us are like.. timothy, kelvin and yuehan.. hahas!! ok.. then after that we went back up to her house as its cake cutting time!!!! XD

okok went up to her house.. but we started to eat again as most of us got hungry.. AGAIN... and the mother offered us breezer.. and as usual, i drank it and.. according to what the rest told me, my face was VERY VERY RED!!! and like... i can guessed it as much as i was soooo freaking hot!! my face and ears are like so hot that even the wall is like much cooler than me!! [ ok.. thats kinda wth.. but its the truth!! ] and that everyone thinks im drunk.. but!! i am not lor!! and when i tell them that im not drunk, none believe.. -.-'' ok.. like i was still clear headed.. and i can walk properly!!! the only thing is i just started laughing.. but i laugh because i was bored mah!! hahas!!

then later i donno whats wrong with me? and i went to say the trademark of mine that was at first to mandy and that i actually said " i love you" WITH HAND SIGN! and after i knew it i was like OH MY MAMA!! WTH?! hahas!! then later cut cake i was singing the birthday song with everyone else!! ;DDD and then ate the yummy cake! ^^ after that we slacked and talked and soon all of us went home!! hahas!! have a great time there! and last, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARMEN!!

present hunting XD

2008-10-10T22:36:00.004+08:00

friends like us will always be there for each other XD never apart even if we argue ^^

went out with mummy, angel, choypheng for present hunting!! and we went place to place just to get the perfect lame present for our favourite lamey friend!! xD ate and shopped!! ;DD oh well... thats like in the afternoon..

as for the morning.... darling was like praying for me and giving me all the moral support i needed to face my bloody exam papers.. -.-'' having faith in me at all times, always believe that i can do it! sec 3 is really not an easy road to go... its like the retain year? and that seeing all my friends one by one failing all the papers when they varies from E1 to E3... and that... don even ask me how i score... its not because i don't wanna tell u all.. but... actually... I DON EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I GET~ LOL!!! ;DD its kinda crap la.. but ya... wait tell report book come out ba..=]

hmmm... sometimes... a friend is really important for such kind of events ya... to make sure u are never alone and always being there... REALLY LOVE U MANZXZ!! sms-ing u is like... great! u r a person that wont really praise me.... but in actual fact u actually gave me a hidden meaning inside all your words... all the hidden encouragment and all the care and concern is what i will never forget.. and i shall tell you what's so wonderful about u.. ^^

1) you gave me care and concern when u know that i needed it at times..

2) you know how to take all my shitty attitude and make me laugh once again^^

3) in times when i needed you. you will be always there to comfort me.

4) you made me realise the importance of being i, me and myself and that i'll be love for who i am and what i am =]

5) when im feel rejected or neglected by people, you will always stand by me at all times saying "i will always be there for you" =)

6) when i got the feeling that i'm not good enough for others, you will always give me sentences with hidden meanings that are very meaningful and that really encourage me a lot.

7) i may not be the perfect person for everything.. but you always cherish me for who i am and what i am. =D

8) i play the lamest games that no guys would actually play it with me.. [ because usually guys play games like.. dota, cs.. and other kind.. ] and i know you play those games too.. but you actually took the effort to download the game that i was playing and spend your time playing with me even knowing that you suck in that game.

9) you never complain for what ever i do.. and you will always just tell me nicely on what is your view and perspective and telling me your opinions and giving me with more options to choose from and no matter what decision i make, you always gave me your fullest surpport! XD

10) you helped me in everything that is within your reach and even if it is not, you tried you best to get it done if i ever needed or wanted it... without any complains..

ok!! here are the 10 great reason why you are so WONDERFUL to me XD and that i have always appreciated every little thing u have done for me! because a little, makes a great difference in my life! =D and of course all my friends are there for me too!! i am not neglecting all of you man!! just that i guess you all have quite a lot of things to do lately.. and so.. ya.. but i DO CHERISH i my friends TILL THE VERY MOST!! xD

ok.. i just came home buying some bread from breadtalk... realising my dad had been suffering from gastric flu.. don't want him to be hungry... to bought some pastries incase he was hungry... [ its for the whole family to eat la.. ] and then i spend about $14 plus just on pastries.. and got scolding from my bro... but its like.. he said that i never think before i spend money... well.. to tell you the truth, i did... i thought of the family knowing my dad might be hungry.. and that my bro would like to have some snacks in and out of normal eating time... which is like breakfast, lunch and dinner... and like because i felt that the person that is the closest to me in the family is my bro... so i really really cherish him a lot...

but the way he put it is kinda hurting... but maybe that's to his point of view i guess... well... no matter what, i still love him =]

the great RETAIN

2008-10-09T19:06:00.004+08:00

aww man!!! i am like RETAINING!!! -.-''' like so shit manzxz!!! but.. oh well... anyway im already expecting what's gonna happen... so even if im sad, there is no use... cause nothing can be done to change the fact.. BUT!!! the funny thing is.. since im already expecting it, im not sad... and i DON'T KNOW WHY!!! ok... its kinda geeky and freaky but its just me XD

oh ya.. and im sorry for not posting for SOO LONG!! and my blog is NOT YET DEAD! its because there is too many interesting things that are almost happening to me every single day and almost every minute of it just ROCKS! and so.. even words can't even describe how i felt!!! [ ok.. maybe it sounds too sarcastic -.-'' ] but... its about there i guess.. hahas!! there are like sad things happening... happy things happening... and sooo much MORE!!!

and.... hehs.. i don't exactly know what's with me at times?? i can say things without realising why am i the helling saying it!! and oh well.... sometimes it brings the wrong meaning and tone towards how i wanted it to be.. [ i ought to get shot yeah? ] hahas!! XD hmm.... jeez... im like outta words... oh ya! before i forget... hmm im gonna fix up one more computer at my house!! XD woots!! and so... my house would have 4 computers and 1 lappy!!! WOOHOO!!! just love it! ;DD okok... one last and final thing..... i just wanna say......

I LOVE YOU~!!! **with hand sign** XD

i don't know wat to say

2008-10-01T16:56:00.005+08:00

hahas!! ok.. a lot of people have been like wondering who is like third sheep -.-'' actually there are many definitions to it.. so ya.. it depends on personal view i guess... well.. the picture above can show u the definition of what i think.. hahas!! erm... don't ask me about my exams thanks.. because i flung it.. hahas!! maybe will retain this year? i guess... LOL~ well.. sometimes things can't be helped at times.. no mood to do anything ya...

ok... as for today, i rot the whole day.. and slack~! yeah!! XD thats why not much to blog about... so thats all ^^

Be smart shermeen...

2008-09-27T12:58:00.003+08:00

its like soo stupid? wake up only i saw so much black faces with a bloody attitude.. my parents are all showing me a black face? seriously wonder what's their fucking problem.. i am like not happy with them... but what can i do? just to practise self-control? but it's like so lame? i seriously feel like asking.. " hey, am i such a burden to you? " and im sorry for making such a big fuss of everything.. but i am seriously sick of all these kind of crap already... and like i just feel like killing them. -.-''

and yesterday was like pouring? raining cats and dogs... the water its like up to my ankle... my shoes and socks were like wet? and i still have to sit for exam in the hall which is like air condition? fucking cold? can't even use my jacket as its fully drench.. and my whole uniform is drench as well.. shivering inside the hall? asking around if anyone has like a jacket... ask ting a ling they all.. and third sheep as well.. and like the only thing they said to me was.. oh.. well.. good luck to u. u are a strong girl.. sure can take the coldness de..

with such a remark like that.. sure know that they can't lend me the jacket? and chinese exam started... due to the coldness.. i had an tummy ache.. that was like so bad.. but its like i cant really stand coldness with my shirt and skirt all wet? and like " oh ya.. i TOTALLY can stand the coldness " well, but no one is to blame.. who call my stupid jacket to be wet as well.. but anyway, i have learnt my lesson!! XD a good learning point to take note ^^

learning point: Shermeen will not ask for help unless its really needed.. because no one will help her. So.. she will be helping and standing tall for herself! XD

shit man!! y did i say shit man!!

2008-09-25T17:02:00.006+08:00

hehs... today english paper... i actually BLANK OUT!! omgomg!! i think my eng... GG le... haiz.. but nvm.... since its over already... after that was chinese oral... and like... as usual, chinese no needa think is comfirm cmi de.. and so alot of words i don know how to read.. and like during the conversation i was trying so hard to speak in the GOD DAMN CHINESE!! then like... i was saying some chinese sentences... then later i said the word "then"... i realise its like english!! so i told the teacher " mei you mei you, bu shi bu shi~! " then later i tried to rephrase again.. but then i said "then" again!!! then i got so piss with myself.. and infront of the teacher i just shout "SHIT MAN!"

and..... the next moment i knew it, the teacher's eyes open so big staring at me as though its killing me.. hahas!! well.. i just hope i pass my english.. T.T [ who call me blank out at that point of time -.-'' ] just hope can pass ba... cant pass will retain le... haiz... after my oral.. called third sheep... and the stupid sheep claims that i miss sheepy... -.-'' so ass rite?! then din even come school... ask sheep go study.. sheep say in cyrus -.-'' then i scolded sheep.. and sheep say TOOTHACHE!! so cannot study... wat shit ya? hahas!! then later... i got first blood from sheep... hehs ^^ and... i donno.. i just want my english to pass.. oh god....

today pass jian xiong the choc that he ordered from me.. [ actually called ting a ling to pass him instead ] but oh well... its the same. and.... oh ya.. sheep say needed to go for opperation.. so... all the best to u ba... hope u become holy sheep... so i will own u till holy shit.. XD

WTF manzxzx!!

2008-09-22T16:42:00.003+08:00

hey this morning seriously sucks manzxz... its like how to say ar... my dad bought 2 the Mr bean thingy for my bro and i to eat yesterday when we were at the hospital.. but since my bro and i were too full, we decided to keep it for tmr morning as a breakfast we could bring to school.. and i woke up this morning, as usual, replied morning smses and blur looking going to the kitchen to wash up.. and i went back to room to change... and ya.. packed my bag... continue replyin smses... tie my hair.. then ok! times up XD so i wanted to leave the house already, want to take the thingy to eat.. and i saw it on the table and not IN the box.. and there is a cup of milo too..

i nearly took the Mr bean thingy and left.. but suddenly feeling weird, i went to ask my grandmother why is my that Mr bean thingy on the table and not in the box. and her reply to me was.. " Oh!! because inside the box, there is only 2. and korkor took one of them. so, the other one is for your cousin. " my first reaction was like.. wtf? im like so piss la! but to clear the misunderstanding.. the Mr bean thingy was mine.. but just to make things clear, im not piss beacause my cousin ate it or something.. i mean like.. he is my cousin mah.. i don mind.. but the thing im piss off about is my grandmother's attitude and sentence! its like.. ok... take it that she might not know that it is mine... but like what a sentence to say rite? its like so PLAIN BIAS!

wat kind of shit attitude of hers is that. and i din have an argument with her just because i don wan my cousin to feel inferior to us.. since he is staying over at our house, we r also considered one family.. but like hor.. there is always a limit to things man... and like what can i do? NOTHING! because y? its not because of the Mr bean thingy and i can always get another one? like no big deal? but its THE BLOODY ATTITUDE THAT MY FAMILY IS HAVING! i just cannot stand it that my family is that bias.. yesterday at the hospital, visited my grandfather. and like after sometime.. i felt like vomiting... and so to prevent anything from happening, i squad down.. but then later on.. my mother claims that they got to leave JUST BECAUSE I WAS HUNGRY~!

and like... that was the only sentence i could understand? because they r speaking in hokkien and i don know any sort of that language. but like they claims that im hungry? when they din even bother asking what's wrong with me? and when we when down to the coffee shop at the hospital ground floor, my mother told me to go with my bro to order food.. but i still feel like vomiting at that time. so i told them that i have no appetite.. and guess what, the first thing my mother did was to STARE AT ME like as though she wanna kill me with her eyes.. like DIAO? as though i care? so obviously... i din give a damn and told her she can follow my bro to get any food first. and like i was with my dad.. waiting for my bro and mother to come back? and i took out my hp to sms "third sheep" and my dad claims that i have a BOYFRIEND?! and he peeped at my smses...

i was not like guilty of anything? so if he wanna peep, i just let him... though its kinda OBVIOUS... but oh well... so ass just don get it.. ok then my bro came back with like chicken rice.. but its like the chicken is fried kind.. so its kinda nice? and since i have to eat my dinner... my dad bought the same thing for me as well.. and soon after, my mother came back with the normal kind of chicken rice, just that hers have a bowl of soup and a plate of vegetables.. and my dad was not at the table as he went to order his food... so... my mother, bro and i started eating... half way while eating, my mother drank the soup and told my bro.. saying it taste nice.. and she said.. " hey bernard... lets share the soup together! ^^ " and guess what? she din even ask me to try or anything? and when we r sittin tgt, i felt as though i am eating dinner with some friend's parents..

its like aint it just so obvious its just plain bias? i seriously felt like a stranger sitting there.. and like lucky my bro was like talking to me? and saying the soup was just some normal stuff.. the feeling inside me hurts so bad? like ITS MY MOTHER? and she din even bother to ask me.. and just ask my bro? and when my dad came back with his food, his has a soup too!! and this time, my dad ask me to try it.. and so i ask my bro to try it to.. well he is like the closest to me there? and in the end we both like my dad's the soup! xD then my mother was like giving some remarks... so i just shoot her back saying " you are just complaining because ur darling bernard prefers this soup to yours.. " and like once again, she gave me that bloody attitude..

soon after, my bro told me dad saying he wanna buy ice kachang.. to eat.. but at that time.. i was still eating my rice and i was the slowest.. -.-'' and i have no idea y.. and so i wanted to say that if i wanted anything, i would get it on my own later... but before i could say anything. my mother just cut in and say.. " mei mei haven even finish her dinner. buy wat buy. " like kinda rude yeah? but anyway, my beloved bro came back with his ice kachang and he took 2 spoons just so that he could share with me!! XD [ love him loads!! ^^ ] and like after eating, i took one mouth of the ice kachang and like stop eating.... so my bro asked like y i stopped eating? so i just said that it was too sweet for my liking... and like he just said.. " oh.. maybe u should take from the top instead of the bottom.. since the top is with the ice.. "

and like thats what i did.. and so i started eating again.. hahas!! then later on... my bro found an "atachi" [ps.. donno if correct spelling anot] and like when im young my mother usually eats that i guess... so yeah my bro asked if mother would wan it. and he was like supposingly puting it on his spoon so that my mother would take her spoon to eat it and not directly from my bro's spoon. but instead of that happening, my mother just simply took my bro's spoon.. and as she was putting it in her mouth... my bro said.. "erm.. y not i take another spoon for u? " knowing what my bro was thinking.. i just kept my mouth shut because im already not that happy with my mother. then my mother ask my bro why must take another spoon? and my bro just like replied her saying that my mother would be putting the whole spoon inside her mouth and ya.. it would be fill with saliva....

actually you all can't say that my bro is being very mean to my mum... cause the fact is that... be is much much closer to my mum.. then me towards my mum... but like my mother's way of eating is really........ cannot make it lor? [not to comment much.. but its like.. example a i got a bag of potato chips... and if i offered her to eat, she will use her fingers to take the chips... and then put the chips into her mouth... INCLUDING HER FINGERS... and ya... so her fingers are wet... and she will dip her fingers inside the bag again -.-'' so its like the whole bag of chips becomes wet.. and like soooooo disgusting.. but well, thats always the case.] the thing is that.. its not that i never tell her u know? its like she don give a damn about what i tell her and stuff.. thinking that im always picking on her or something like that.

but im not! its the truth and she chose not to believe it? and when my bro actually said that to her, she have a bloody stunned look on her face. and a few seconds later, she just like shove the spoon back into the ice kachang bowl with a display of like great anger?...... like come on lor? if u wanna show ppl that u r angry, no needa show this kind of actions... its PLAIN STUPIDITY! anyway, i have been controling my anger towards my mother and right at that moment when she just shove the spoon back into the bowl, my anger bursted! and i got piss like whats her attitude? because im like eating the ice kachang... so i just said " hey! if u don wanna eat just tell la. don needa show this kind of attitude ok! if u r that unhappy then just don eat la! no one force u! " and when i said that, as usual... my dad was not at the sence too... since he went to buy soya bean for my mother and i..

and right after i said that... there was just silence... no one was talking at all.. and only when my dad came back.. my mother started tearing... and later she just walk off to the toilet of something and when we went back, she started to show all signs of attitude to show my dad that she was upset or piss off or something? and my dad can even turn back to ask my bro " WE BULLY MUMMY AR? " like har? i overheard it? and in my mind is like... what a sentence to say rite? cannot be " mummy's attitude like shit again har? " i wanted to shoot down my dad as well.. but i just kept my cool and kept walking since the person my dad ask was my bro and not me.. so i will just control myself first... [ but if my dad were to say that to me... i think he GG le.. ]

well.. then i was like so having the urge to just walk off and leave the damn house at that point of time.. but taking considerations of my exams, i din -.-'' but if i cant tolerate any of this shit anymore... i will just leave the house. and of cuz being such a good gal like me, i will bring my books along.. and a school uniform. =] and like.. my mother tear rite.. its not because i shoot her down or what u know? because i have been shooting her for so long till she don really bother to give a damn about me anymore.. then i believe she tear because... SHE DIN EXPECT HER DARLING SON WOULD EVER TURN TO SHOOT HER AND BACKFIRE HER! u know what this means? mean she just suck! what else?! like what ppl always tell me... UR MOTHER MADE U WHO U R TODAY!

so, now im going say that sentence once more for you all... MY MOTHER MADE ME WHO I AM TODAY! and actually i know they r trying to psyco me making me feel.. aww.. im damn gratefull or wat.. but read the sentence carefully again... " MY MOTHER MADE ME WHO I AM TODAY! " get the meaning? it means that.. i have turn into this rebellious person.. is because SHE MADE ME WHO I AM! and reason being? i feel no love at all...

the silent killer

2008-09-21T20:57:00.002+08:00

heya!!! ytd was damn damn fun!! [ but its only at night then fun... in the afternoon its like shit... ]

ok!! and as for today, im just going to say a sentence about it.. because its tooooooo long for me to say the whole story. the sentence is...

i am prepared and dare to leave the house anytime i wan, due to my shit family esp parents..

choco!! XD

2008-09-18T22:25:00.003+08:00

hehs.. one of the chocs i made with gift box..

Felix~! the choc that u have ordered from me is rdy!! XD

selling chocs XD

2008-09-16T17:53:00.013+08:00

today was tired man... i actually went jogging!! and i ran like SIAO.. wearing my lovely SiaoXsiao T-shirt.. XD and like i din stop running?! i just kept on running and running... and my face was so red... like a red apple -.-'' and then i just continued running.... well... i din call anyone to join me in running as every single time i called someone to join me in running, it rainned... -.-'' so the best!! this time i din called anyone to join me for running and it DIN RAIN!!! XD so happy~! ^^ and ok.. now.. im panting like crazy... but i guess i'll be just fine after while XD [ heng i din get asthma attack.... i forgot to bring my medicine along with me -.-'' ] actually.. things got quite bad that i was like fainting... lols!! but like so ps rite? faint there? so.... with my will power and determination, I RAN HOME!! hahas!! i am really proud of myself!! [ pat myself on the shoulder and saying job well done! XD ]

okay.... i know im crazy.. but cant blame.. i don't know whats exactly wrong with me... and actually im kind piss? hahas because i was so tired and that like there was a bowl on my table.. because earlier on i ate a small bowl of noodles that was taken from my bro's share.. and that i was like asking my grandmother to help me wash... but well, she has a cut of her finger i guess.. so she told me to wash it myself.. so i din mind and say oh.. ok.. its alrite i will wash it myself XD.. but then its hard to remove the stains? so i put my bowl on the basin and put some water to let the thing soak first and so i went back to my room to rest for awhile... and like suddenly my bro just came in and raise his voice towards me saying " SHERMEEN. NEXT TIME U BETTER WASH UR BOWL IF U R GONNA EAT ANYTHING! YOU KNOW GRANDMOTHER ALREADY HAVE A CUT AND U STILL WANT HER TO WASH FOR U! "

but i was like so being wronged? and like my bro is a type of person that won't even bother listening to my explaination.. so well.. i just replied saying " i din ask her to wash the bowl for me. " and he was like... uh... wait... what he say? i forgot -.-'' oh ya! i remember!! he said " BUT YOU SHOULD NOT PUT YOUR BOWL THERE WHAT! " i mean like whats wrong with putting my bowl there to soak first since it will be easier to wash later on? like dots? everything its my fault.. ah.. might as well... just let it be.. since im like too tired to even bother to actually argue... hahas!! XD actually i realise one thing... i am like always being wrongly blame for things... like don't know what's wrong... everyone usually misunderstands me... wonder whats like wrong...

Oh ya!! talking about the chocs... i can actually like sell them!! XD [ but i wonder who would like buy la -.-'' ] but well still just sell for the fun of it.. ok here are the prices for the chocs...

- semi sweeten dark chocs [$0.50] per piece

- semi sweeten chocs with hazel nut in it [$0.70] per piece

- white chocs [$0.70] per piece

- white chocs with hazel nut in it [$1] per piece

- lovely combi half white, half dark [$1] per piece

- lovely combi half white, half dark with hazel nut in it [$1.50] per piece

*Special Orders*

~~~ gifts for birthdays is something that can't be taken lightly.. giving chocs brings the sweetness in their hearts to be happy =) ~~~

Big piece of choc with the word "Happy Birthday" on it.

--> ( all semi sweeten dark choc meaning including the words [$20] )

--> ( all pure white choc meaning including the words [$23] )

--> ( if the words "Happy Birthday" is in dark chocs and the base is white chocs [$26] )

--> ( if the words "Happy Birthday" is in white chocs and the base is in dark chocs [$23] )

* gifts box plus ribbion tied and packed nicely will is available. [$4] additional *

if possible will upload pics for u all to see and will create a choc blog for the real edition of it.. well.. go ahead and give it a try.. =] and prices may increase due to over popularity? i donno.. wait till the actual blog is on. but if u all wanna buy any can contact me.. or tag there.. [ erm.. u can test the chocs first -.-'' ]

JUST FUCK OFF

2008-09-15T20:19:00.005+08:00

hey PARENTS! i don't know why you are always picking on me.. and venting all ur emotions on me.. but well.. since u r my parents.. so wat? hahas!! i don say that sentence.. " aiya.. nvm.. my parents mah.. let it be lo.. " EVERY SINGE TIME U ALL TOOK MY AS THOUGH IM SOME KIND OF LIVING SHIT! if u r not happy with me, just tell me straight in the face and don have to bang here bang there JUST TO LET ME KNOW THAT LIKE YOU ARE BLOODY PISSED OFF WITH ME OR SOMETHING!

BECAUSE I HAD ENOUGH OF IT! AND SO DOES MY FRIENDS... since u r the one that claims that im the one that made her cry and she is ur darling blah blah blah... i shall cut everything short. but so? saying u will protect her protect her donno protect wat shit WHEN U ARE JUST ANOTHER IDIOT SITTING INFRONT OF UR STUPID COM TYPING TO ME SAYING U WILL PROTECT HER and beating around the bush and indirectly trying to shoot me saying that im the one that made her cry and tear like some kind of baby?

hello? if u r that smart ass.. and u wanna "PROTECT" her... and since don say im Unfair... knowing that your brains are CMI. then fine... u can always find me up and wack me or something? because u r some kind of "beng" with ur stupid members or wat trying to act gangster? thats y im not scare of u LIM HONGYEOW! although im not refering to u here.. but since most of my readers know him.. so gave his name as an example. anyway.. u wanna wack me say la! and pls don give me that crap saying wat boy cannot wack gal or wat..

if u really wanna protect her or wat... u can at most get another gal to come and wack me? like as though i really give a big deal bout it? because its SOOOO LAME CAN?! i cant stand idiots just sitting down lookin at their com and typing crap to me saying they will protect her and stuff? like u wan protect then go ahead and protect all u wan la. must let me know har? because U R A ASS FLIRT THAT IS LIKE IN LOVE WITH HER AND UR EX AND CAN'T EVEN GET A CLEAR HEAD THAT WHO U R ACTUALLY IN LOVE IN U R ARE A FUCKING SON OF A BITCH! so pls do not msn me crap stuff saying u will protect her..

IF U REALLY WANNA PROTECT HER THEN COME FIND ME LA! protect protect.. all u all only know how to do is make me pissed.. bloody fuckers... FAMILY LIKE SHIT.. FRIENDS ARE EQUALLY LIKE SHIT. [except for some.] but pls don come and be glad hoping that u r " the some" that i mention that r like good friends? because no one is actually willing to hear me out? BECAUSE NO ONE GIVE A DAMN! and well.. so i only could bottle everything up and vent it on my poor blog... [ and im cutting everything short.. because the one i post before is filled with 90% of bad words ] and for your info... PLS DON GIVE ME THAT CRAP SAYING I WILL STAND UP FOR U BECAUSE WE R CLOSE FRIENDS... BECAUSE U R THE ONE IM SAYING! SO DON GIVE ME THAT PIECE OF SHIT!

if u are like putting on a mask... then im really sorry because i have see through it all... so don try to act as though u r SO FUCKING MR. NICE GUY that is trying to act and be nice infront of me. because that makes me just wanna puke. AND FOR PPL THAT WAN MY TRUST, EARN IT! don keep asking you trust me anot. you trust me anot. VERY IRRITATING YOU KNOW?! what you all have did lied to me whether if its big or small issue... its the SAME! and some more its not even a white lie.. [ CAN U BELIEVE SOMEONE ACTUALLY LIED TO ME JUST BECAUSE THAT PERSON WANNA PLAY DOTA WITHOUT ANY DISTURBANCE?!?! ] still say freinds are there for each other... LOAD OF CRAP MAN!

and like if u were to tell me nicely that u r playing dota, i would actually like understand?! because i play too and like who wanna be a feeder in games... I KNOW IT! BUT HEY! BY LYING DOSENT MAKE YOU A HERO U KNOW?! and if u made any promise... THEN DON BREAK IT LA! only know how to break a promise and then come and say sorry to me... and as usual i will always forgive? SO U THINK SORRY SORRY THEN CAN LIAO RITE?! but its really sad to say... some of your sorries have already become too common that it don even weight a feather. thinkin that i sounded insulting? than think what all of u have did to me. [ and by the way, im not refering to all? so as long as u r not guity... then most prob u r not ]

worst case... WHEN IM LIKE REFERING TO YOU AND U DON EVEN KNOW IT AND STILL ACTING NICE INFRONT OF ME. maybe thats not how u think? but u r like telling someone that is not really in good terms with that person and kept saying about that person's stuff. USE BUTT TO THINK ALSO KNOW ITS STUPID. seriously speaking.. u should be really glad u r pissing me off at msn and not face to face.. because i don even know what i will say or do if u were to be right infront of me!

urg... nvm... anyway.. yeah.. just went downstairs to met yang.. and chat alot.. thanks for everything manzxz xD really appreciate it alot.. so i will stop here because i have chill out.

hahas!! poor third sheepy

2008-09-14T18:28:00.002+08:00

hey hey hey!!! yoz yoz readers!!!
its like soooo damn cool ok.. im like going mad.. -.-'' ok.. like this early early EARLY morning, like about... 12 am till about 2 am like that have been talking to ____. [ ps.. the person is NOT my stead -.-'' but just to prevent any rumours.. so ya.. XD ] then like he is going on some... probs? i guess... with his family.. [ haiz.. hope u feel better manxzx =D ] and like we were chatting chatting chatting about this... about that... then later part due to some CRAPPY reason, we laugh till stomach pain.. -.-''

part of it was that.. we were suppose to feel tired.. as we wanna sleep and to study... so... he suggested that we will count sheeps to sleep.. XD and guess wat.. after counting... we laugh even worse.. LOL!! okok because.. he was saying.. " 1 sheep " then i would have to continue saying " jump over the fence " and when we were counting just till the THIRD SHEEP!! something happened!!! he was saying " 3 sheep " but i din say that it jump over the fence.. and instead this time round i said " oh.. the third sheep too fat already.. can't jump.. " hahas!! and then there was like a sudden SILENCE!! and the next second... WE BURST INTO LAUGHTER!!

i tell u... its damn funny lo... okok.. and like after that really cant stay on to chat any longer as he needed to "study" so.. well.. we hang and went off to dreamland!! XD. hahas.. okok fast forward... now its like already in the evening.. and i wanted to go for a jog.. and ting a ling was with me.. but when he came to my block.. it started raining.. so instead we walked up and down the stairs like 3 WHOLE TIMES!! hahas!! and like today made some chocos.. so he was the first person that was not my family that tried it!! XD its nice manxzxz!! hehs... my bro ate a whole lot of it. and so now... im like slacking infront of my com.. LOL!!

you are a SUCKER

2008-09-13T21:38:00.003+08:00

HEY DAD! are u a sucker? a fucker? an idiot? or a pain in the ass?! like WHAT THE FUCK IS ACTUALLY WRONG WITH YOU?! my day was like sooo alrite UNTIL when i came home at NIGHT... like NOW.. -.-'' went "studying" the whole day? from morning till like evening.. and came home and got some sarcastic remarks... and now that im on the com.. and like u ask me wanna eat mango? i said i wan.. and i ALREADY LIKE FUCKING SAY IT LONG AGO?! and like har?? wat u did? sit down there at watch movie on ur BLOODY ASS COMPUTER!

when i went out.. i said i wanted to eat mango again.. and he look at me and i like saying yeah.. then later i went back to my room again. then i went out again and went straight into his face and stared at him. then i told him i wanna eat mango.. then he took out his ear piece and say " wat u want. " like wat? i have to repeat myself again?! and then its still ok.. i don mind telling him AGAIN.. so i said.. " i though i have already told u and u have ask me ? i say i wanna eat mango. " and like guess wat he say?

he said to me.. " yeah.. i know. but u are like SOOOO BUSY ON UR COMPUTER. " like what the fuck?? and before he could say anything.. knowing by his attitude with a whole lot of sarcastic remarks MEANT FOR ME. i just cut his sentence and just say " oh well.. i guess so. then since u said that im busy.. than its fine. i don't wanna have it already. " then i just walked off.. " and like minutes later he serve my mother mango and then gave me mango as well. like.... hey readers.. do u all get how i feel anot? like my parents CANT LIVE ONE DAY OF THEIR LIVE WITHOUT MAKING ME NOT PISS... everytime i have to show attitude that i get wat i wanted? like har??? its just mango leh...

and for all your info... its not that im dying to eat mango? its like i wanted to make chocos to eat and some for my friends. just that my dad DON ALLOW ME TO MAKE CHOCOS TODAY! thats why he ask me if i wanna have some mango instead.. so i was like... try not to make things difficult? and so i just said i will have some mango then. like he ask me first and he make it sound as thought its my fault. like what the fuck yeah? towards my family... they r just HOPELESS...

wat's going on?

2008-09-12T13:46:00.003+08:00

well... i have choir today!! XD it was quite ok? can't really say fun.. and can't really say boring.. and like was kinda tried.. and when choir was like ending... someone is suppose to keep the music stand.. which like no one kept it? and then later cherie's that clique of hers all started looking at me? then i was like " har? me ar? " hahas!! then cherie was like " duh... u r the committee member. " and i was like oh.. ok. and then i started to laugh my ass off.. because the last time i tried to do that i can't -.-'' hahas!!

then i don't even know wat to take out... and stuff... and so beverley came to help me and so at last we DID IT!!! [ and my stupid PMFA was there saying "aiya... queen so lousy ar.." ] then i was like.. i did it!!!! hahas ;DD ok.. then took my bag and left the PAC.. ^^ once outside, i saw my laogong yueqin!!! then i was like telling her in chinese saying " wo shi leng dao............ " hahas!! cause it was damn cold... or maybe cause im still sick that's why.. -.-'' then right after that yueqin was like replying me saying " wo shi ri dao................ " cause she is a NPCC cadet.. so yeah.. have to go and see the lovely sun.. XD

went back to class soon after as lessons are starting.. and its like CHINESE!!! and as you know.. when ever it comes to chinese, to me, there is only one word that i could say about it.. and the word is................. BORING!! XD [ i sound so bad... =x.. but my chinese teacher is really nice.. quite understanding.. ^^ ] and soon once it ended.. i headed home!! XD

never fall apart~!

2008-09-11T20:32:00.003+08:00

Mummy and i XD

hmmm... nth much to blog today.. school and home.. thats all!! XD

bad day but good day in the end!! xD

2008-09-10T22:34:00.002+08:00

hehes... ok la.. today during class was like kinda bad... because of some stuff... but after school met up with friends and they really brighten up my day!! we played like some crazy people!! XD and we have pillow fights.. [ more like cusion fights -.-'' ] and i went around disturbing people... and we run around catching each other like some crazy freaks as well.. LOL!!

ok... then came home... ^^ hmm.. after awhile cause of my health problem then have to go hospital AGAIN... -.-'' LOL! health health health..... ok.. then when i reach home.. and packing my things and stuff... then i realise i lost $50... that i have save really really hard for it... and now its gone.. -.-'' feeling kinda pissed with myself.. but can't be help... feeling sad or piss wont make my money come back to me again... so... oh well, just look on the bright side of life! ^^

bad flu day..

2008-09-08T23:06:00.000+08:00

well.. thats all i can say that is happening to me today...

pls be strong..

2008-09-07T13:31:00.014+08:00

MeeN pls be strong!!
MeeN pls be strong!!
MeeN pls be strong!!
MeeN pls be strong!!
MeeN pls be STRONG!

no matter what has happen... i can like argue with you in the middle of the nite.. pls man... why is your attitude bad ar? talking to me with some shit attitude and what else you want? talking with such a sarcastic tone knowing that i won't feel good about it. that thing between her and me is like long over? but u keep hanging on to it? because you said the promise you made to me is not valid? or saying that u promise not to touch her but din promise anything other than that? and using such a threatening tone?

pls man... are you a guy anot? being so petty over these kind of things.. and when i decided to drop the matter. you start showing me an attitude again. like what the fuck?! as besties the way you are talking is so over? i seriously wonder what kind of friends do you hang out with that turn you into such a person. and im sure u will be like telling me... " if u think im so difficult, then don talk to me la" like diao? do not take me for granted!

to me, friends play a very important role in my life. and i do cherish and care for them a lot. but if you think that im such a bother, just say it. because if u ever think about it. if i don even regard you as my friend, y would i still be here talking to you and even arguing with our point of view? the reason is simple. its because i care and regarded you as a friend so i would want the best for all my friends. but please do not have that kind of mentality thinking that i will always be there all the time and therefore take me for granted thinking that i will always just be right there.

and there is one thing i wanna say about. sometimes, you don need people to say about your character or personality.. because it will consist of judgmental value. anyway.. to cut everything short. as normal humans, people tend to talk amoung their friends and stuff.. gossip here and there... laugh things out till the sun is down... well, thats what normal friends does anyway. but sometimes... a person's action and character do not need to be told by others as they have eyes to see for themselves.. so.. to everyone, even to myself.. time will reveal the person you actually are.

FOREVER TOGETHER!! xD

2008-09-06T23:59:00.001+08:00

i LOVE him LOADS!!
happy or sad.. angry or pissed.. we will always be together ^^
in my dreams, im not so far away from home..
all my life all the time.. im so far away from home..
without you.. i will be so far away from home =]
we will NEVER be APART~!

hahas.. did lots of stunts today cause of him XD hahas!! and cause my whole family to be so messed up because of me doing stunts hahas!! i will bring the old me back! XD
ok la... although sometimes u maybe pissed off with me.. and sometimes i maybe pissed off with you..

and in times when i am feeling low... you don know how to show me concern.. but i do believe deeply that it is not you do not care but you don know how to show it.. but well.. its ok!! XD [ because if u ever show if.. i think there will be a blue moon appearing XD ] and i put your pic not because i wanna desiao you.. its because i really do cherish you alot ^^

and so... thanks for everything!! XD
[ questions will NOT be entertained. ]

MeeN is loved by you YYY

you totally spoil my day man....

2008-09-04T23:26:00.004+08:00

hey! i just reached home!!! XD and its like 11.30pm.. hahas!! kinda late huh? but actually i don find it late leh... ok now im going to tell you my lovely day!! XD okok.. first, i woke up like uhh..... 11.45am. kana force to try my grandmother's new dishes... which taste kinda nice ^^ then later was like with my grandmother downstairs to eat pizza and had to help her carry dragon fruits!! but i don mind la.. grandmother old liao.. =x hahas!!

supposingly suppose to meet the clique for kbox today at like 2.30. but just because of me, i reached at like 3.35... T.T well... im seriously SORRY PPL!!! hahas! XD i really din meant to be late.. well.. but as goodie freinds of mine, instead of going to kbox first. they actually waited for me!! [ i was really touched!! ] esp mummy[amanda], knowing that i am such a blur sotong... i sure wont be able to find my way to the place and she actually waited for me somewhere much more easy for me to be able to spot her!! and like guess what? she was the one that spotted me first.. hahas!! and later she was like rushing me saying the rest was waiting.. ^^ THANKS GUYS!!! love you LOADS!!

ok.. then went to kbox with mummy[amanda], carmen, ashley[stead], leon, edmund and yuehan.. hahas! XD it was totally fun like CRAZY man!! ok first its like carmen was the "PA" person that help us to choose songs.... adjust the volume of the mikes and the volume of songs and stuff... and like we sang and sang and also got de Siao by people... -.-'' after singing like some freaks, we went swensens to have our dinner!! ^^ and right after dinner we went to far east where ashley's cousin shop was at.. and then the guys were like talking bout the shop " I love Stage " but actaully their main motive of going there is like not the shop? but one of the staff girls at the shop because they said that the girl was pretty.. hahas!! so everytime when someone says " i love stage " other ppl at the back will add saying " the staffs " hahas!! so the whole sentence end up sounding like.. " i love stage the staff. " hahas!!

well.. we reached ashley's cousin shop and ashley told her cousin about that shop whether her cousin knew about it... and i think it was edmund that was kinda interested with one of the staff over there.. and then ashley cousin REALLY brought us over to their shop!! even when the shop is already close!! cool huh.. XD then we were all really excited to see how the staff girl that they were talking about looks like. and suddenly... edmund just refuses to go.. as he was SHY!!! LOLxD then mummy and i are like trying to get them damn edmund moving!! but the was so strong -.-'' and yuehan was like.. EDMUND!! i help u save your guitar~! LOL!! then in the end i have used up all my strength in pulling him and that he was still at the same spot -.-''..... so i just told yuehan like.. " aiya... forget it.. lets go.. " and mummy was like also cannot take it already and so the three of us catch up with the rest into the " i love stage " the shop.

ok... it was a pretty cool shop? and that ashley's cousin did not beat round the bush and just told straight that one of the guys wanted the staff number. XD and that edmund i also donno where did he ran to? but did not came into the shop.. after quite a long while at the shop, we went back to ashley's cousin shop and was still wondering where is edmund... and like guess what.. he went off!!! LOLXD!! and just left us behind.. hahas! but can't blame him ba... he was too shy... xD ok.. then we decided to go back... while on our way back, mummy and i went "high" again... and that we took a crazy pic.. and went home after that =]

hahs!!!

2008-09-03T00:40:00.003+08:00

guess what... im still now asleep yet? and so now im blogging as its already the next morning and my daddy[hongyeow] just sms me a bed time story that is ULTRA LAME can? LOLXD and so.. im gonna tell u all the bedtime story that he told me.. HAHAS!! and here it goes...

Once upon a time there are 3 little piggy, and their names are shermeen, yanrong and SiaoXsiao. 3 of them each wanna build a house to give themselves a shelter protecting them from the bad stormy weather and also to protect them from the big bad woft.. so, shermeen thinks that building a strw house is good. and so she went to collect straws to make a house. On the other hand, yanrong thinks that sticks are better for building houses and so she went to collect sticks to build her perfect house. as for the last one, SiaoXsiao wanted to build a very strong house that is made of bricks and went to borrow some cement from a house builder. and together with bricks and cement, she managed to build a lovely house out of bricks.

then one fine day, a wolf came along and saw shermeen inside the house! and so, the woft went to blow shermeen's house down and shermeen ran over to yanrong's house. the wolf also followed shermeen to yanrong's house and blew down yanrong's house as well!! so both piggies ran to SiaoXsiao house that is made out of bricks which SiaoXsiao had just completed by putting up a door. and all of the 3 piggies went to the brick house and close the door shut so that the big bad wolfy could not come in. as the bricks are so strong, the wolf has use up all his energy and died during the process of blowing and the piggies soon died as well as they forgot to build windows for their house. THE END!

WALAU!! lame rite? first time see till so lame the story man!! so suck lor!! LOLXD hahas!! well.. but at least it made me laugh my ass off.. LOL!!

Sianzxzx

2008-09-02T12:44:00.002+08:00

okies.. well.. i guess today my day will be BORING!! so might as well just blog now.. when its like only 1pm.. hahas!! okies.. i woke up in the morning and look at my handphone and there is like 12 smses -.-'' [ and later my parents will think that im a business lady -.-''' ] hahas!! but it was really heart warming to see so many morning messages when i open up my eyes to a new day ahead! XD

hmm.. talking bout yesterday.. since yesterday i got no mood to talk when i got a fishy bone stuck at my throat.. but now im fine!!! XD okok.. it was like at night, mummy[amanda] called me up when im on the way home saying that she have a chinese paper tomorrow.. [which means its today -.-'' ] and her dictionary is with me!! and i got to bring it to her man.. N lvl leh.. impt!! XD so i went home.. and told my dad i was going out again.. hahas!! and guess what.. my dad gave me an expression as if i own him a million dollars.. -.-''

then i was like explaining that manda has a chinese paper tmr and her dictionary that she lended me was still with me... so my dad decided to drive me there.. XD and guess what.. during the journey, my dad start questioning me as though im like a criminal... saying y i wake up so late and blah blah blah... then i got piss? but i don wan my dad to scold me saying.. " you think i own u a million dollar iszit?! " he always says that when i showed some attitude.

oh well, so i decided to shoot him in a NICE way... XD. i was like saying.. " daddy.. is your work usually very stressful? " then my dad talk talk talk... donno talk wat shit about his work... and i have to look as though im damn attentive when nothing gets in my brain.. -.-'' hahas!! i was like waiting for my dad to ask me.. like.. " gal.. why do you ask if daddy is stress at work anot? " and... guess what.. HE DID ASK!! woohoo~! so its pay back time!! XD

so i replied him saying.. " oh.. i see.. because every single time u come home, you have been showing some kind of shit attitude towards me and i don know if it is due to your work load or its because you don like the sight of me. " [ and im saying it with a smile on my face.. XD ] hahas!! and when my dad heard what i say, his expression totally change man!!! lolxD and then he just kept quiet.. hahas! first blood always seem to be mine.. XD

so i decided to pop out some topic as my dad was trying to insult me back.. and i said " dad, every single time in the car.. we will always end up arguing for some reason or so.. and the reason why we r not arguing now is because both of us are actaully trying to shoot each other down in a polite manner... " and guess what.. my dad said.. yeah he was actually trying to shoot me and insult me back. but.. sad to say, skill not there lor.. SUCKA!!! XD

and he din even know that i took 8 panadol i guess... there is so much things that my parents don even know because all they care about is just my grades... and so... went up to mummy house and pass her the dictionary and went back to the car and back to my jail.. ^^ hahas.. and thats how the fish bone prob occur when i was eating dinner -.-''

okies! now for today!! XD i shall wear a halo on my head and my a angel at home... XD ok.. i will try to complete my homework if i can.. hahas!! XD [ thats y i told u today was bored.. -.-'' ] ok.. but i will still SURVIVE!!! because... I AM SHERMEEN!! woots~! XD

smiles!

2008-09-01T20:35:00.003+08:00

today is crap man! i woke up with a headache like so pain? popped 8 panadols into my mouth and after awhile its still pain? how crap can my day be.. then later met up with kel they all at lib to "study" and then came back home have dinner

and now i have no mood to blog at all because i have a fish bone in my throat and its so pain!! and i cant take it out? i cant swallow it down? and worst is.. MY PARENTS DON GIVE A FUCK CARE.. swallow saliva also pain... wtf manzxz... the is so crap. then i cant swallow anything?

i wanna eat the chocs that my mother have to make myself feel better.. my mother say.. " oh.. u cannot open.. because kor kor saw it first.. so its his. " i was thinking like aint the chocos my mothers'? then she said " yupps but kor saw it first so its his. hahas " i feel so sick of this crap can? like wtf is this my mother is SO FUCKING BIAS~! i just feel so piss for that moment and with the bone in my throat its like not helping me to feel any better.

im not like piss with my bro? but im not happy with my PARENTS! esp my MOTHER. don even seem to care.. actually even my friends are more worried bout me then them? like diao? aiya PAIN LA! thats all for today!

what a stupid day.. but.. FUN! XD

2008-08-30T18:04:00.006+08:00

hahas!! ok.. yue han ask me out to pei him to go to some hp shop to fix his lovely hp that he got to use another spare phone which is SO SEXY! LOL!!!! i cant stop laughing the moment i saw that his spare hp was so cute!!! it looks like a toy but it is actually workable!! hahas.. then my leg hurts A LOT! cause SOMEBODY wants to walk from wheelock to plaza sing instead of taking a damn bus! hahas but the walk was fun... talk alot of crap! XD

met up with ting a ling a ling... and then yuehan and i got desiao by him... so both of us wallop ting a ling up. hahas!! since yuehan complaint that he was hungry, we went to grab a bite and then i wanted to get a new jacket.. so we went to look for a jacket... which we went to rip curl shop? and then the nicest jacket was YUEHAN'S jacket?! like wth!! then i cant get the same jacket as him if not ppl will think the wrong way? then like so crap.. hahas!! then later ting a ling was like holding my arm and we acted as though we r some SISTERS!!! when he is acting GAY LOL!!!! then later i don seem to be affected by it.. so he went to desiao yuehan!! hahas!!

and guess what... yuehan was SOOO affected by it man!! hahas!! then i saw my primary school form teacher... with her family.. XD awww.... so sweet leh.. hahas^^ but in the end still cant find the jacket that is to my liking and so we all went home.. XD ok... then after went home to rot awhile, i went out again!!! sad to say, amanda[mummy] has something going on with her bro and cant make it to go with me to some seeing of the plane with munwai which i had told him i will be able to make it... munwai, SORRY! XD [ ps.. first time agreeing to b going out tgt with friends but in the end cant make it ]

on the way to meet ashley at vivo the time, hongyeow called and he gave me some shit attitude... and i just hang his call? its like totally shit la.. call only give me attitude as if i deserve it. then after more then an hour later then he sms me back to say that he was sorry for giving me attitude and that his attitude suck. then i was like.. you can change your attitude. its only you wan to or not. and he was like... " i will change because i want to. " i was like... " ok then all the best to u. " hahas kinda sarcastic rite? XD aiya.. like dots lor he kepts showing me attitude.. and its not like the first time?

then ashley was like telling my hongyeow is very nice to be but can be a pain in the ass at times.. then i was like kept laughing! XD and.... MY LEG HURTS!!! and i ate something i NEVER tried before and it was the korean rice cake.. it is nice!! XD im going to have it again the next time i go to vivo!! woots!! [ OMG! just remembered that hongyeow called me fat not long ago.. -.-''....... anyway who cares im happy~ XD ] hahas!! ^^ well.... hahas later ash cuz send me back to my jail.. and that we were both happy!! XD

MeeN is really glad that she can put a smile on people's face and that she is Happy today XD

you don't like me iszit?!

2008-08-29T00:05:00.002+08:00

im so crapped up la... friends problem still never mind... i totally don't know what the hell is exactly wrong with my dad la.. its like what the fuck? every single day he is coming home look at me with that attitude eyes of his.. and its not like only for today you know? it is like, he has been showing me attitude yesterday? and the day before? and at first i thought that it is because of his work load or stuff like that..

But, i realise i was totally wrong la.. its like he is so nice and can laugh, smile and joke with the rest of my family members like my bro and my mum... but when he place his eyes on me is like with that attitude? i mean like what's wrong with you?! you are my father and what the fuck do you want from me? if you were to say that i always show you attitude, can you like reflect on yourself that actually your attitude is like shit to me too? you are always looking with my with that kind of attitude and even claim that i don wanna talk to you or showed you an attitude face.

Pls man, i have like friends problem? and like you all would even bother to ask? what shit parents are you all? and without even concerning me its still fine. without any prove, you both saw that i look down, sad or emotionless at home, and straight, i don even know wat cow sense you all have and thinks that i have got a Boyfriend?! and i already told you that i don have. like whats there to lie about this la? its so lame lor.. and there you go NOT believing in me and looking at me with that doubtfull look? im your OWN BLOOD DAUGHTER leh... ain't you suppose to believe me?

and why did you all even bother to ask hows my day when any comments that i give, in the end you all will just give me a ass attiude and saying all the crap stuff.. as also siding my teachers and ALWAYS think that my teacher is right. if you all always think it that way, then why even bother to ask me?! like im trying to voice out how i feel? and instead you both gave me attitude? than i would rather keep everything to myself.. i have no idea how much i can still bottle this feelings of mine. cause you don even care? im not like jealous or what that you all are spending so much lovely time together with my bro?

cause since long ago, i already can't feel the love from you if you are even giving me any? all you all think of me as is a Rebellious, stubborn, not willing to listen to other's peoples comments? and even more stuff. and if im really that kind of person, why would i still have friends? its like you have put me till the end until i am already scare that you might be piss at me and i would just tell you straight in the face of yours saying " what you wan me to do then you can stop showing me your ass attitude. " and that is what i did today. i said that. but whats your reply? just walking out of me without giving any reply.. its like wtf...

even now my friends are already sick and tired of having me to have this crap "family problem"? but its like what can i do man... the fact is, you are always giving me this attitude you know? and can you believe it is so frequen that my friend can give remarks like.. " haiz.. your parents again ar... you and your parents problem like eat rice like that... everyday also got de.. its Normal la.. " like can you believe my friend said such a thing Not even realising how hurting it is? i mean like who likes to have family problem? and its like even my friends can say its sick and tired already. how about me that is the one that have been experiencing this?

its like my mental health is getting from bad to worse? and no one is even noticing as i hide my feelings when im with my friends? like give me a break man... today i was just making some things out of beads as tomorrow is teacher's day.. and i he saw my beads... so after that i ask him is it nice anot.. and guess whats the comment he gave me... he says with an attitude expression.. " so you are gonna spend your time just on beads..... " [ aiya i don even know did u all get my tune anot.. as im typing it out.. and u cant feel the tone he use to say this? its like just so hurting lor..] and besides, its not as if i spend alot of time doing that rite?

like why must you always put it that way? beads is my hobby what... and there you go not even giving any moral support but just plain hurting words.. its not like i didn't study right? like why do you always have a problem with me? what do you like wat me to do? everyday be some kind of nerd and just study? BUT, sorry man, im totally not that kind of person? i can even bet that if i were to request to you that i wanted to see a shrink... i think you will just laugh you ass of thinking that im bullshitting.

How hoW HOW!!!!!!

2008-08-27T20:48:00.004+08:00

ahhhh my lovely daddy[hongyeow] just called me FAT!! hahas!!! ahhhh!!! im fat!! SHIT man!! lolxD who cares hahas!! i think i sot le.. well but since u say im fat then i try to lose weight lo... -.-'' [ although i don think i will ever do it.. hahahs!! XD ] fat FAT fat FAT fat FAT!! hahas!! anyway, no matter what it is, im 100% SherMeeN!!! XD so not to worry.. hahas!! fat le!! HOw HOW HOW!! XD [ ting a ling a ling must go running with me XD ]

today got PE lesson... walau stupid cassandra!! hahas!! XD you aim where man!! im your teammate and you wack the ball on my head... the ball so hard very pain de leh!! must throw to other side mah.. hahas!! make me laugh until i fall to the ground feeling dizzy.. hahas next time cannot team with u ar.. you will murder me man! XD okie... then it was like a slacking session at PE!!! ^^ i just sprint for like 2 rounds around the soccer field!! XD without stopping!! hahas.. and me and cherie were like so much ahead of the rest... but after end, i can't breath.. [ i forgot im not suppose to run like that -.-'' ]

oh ya,, and i would really really want to thank everyone that have been there for me rain or shine!! XD

~Amanda[mummy]~
~Ashley[stead]~
~Nicholas~
~Kelvin[uncle]~
~YueHan~
~Leon~
~Lengchye~
~Joanne[sexy]~
~YueQin[laogong]~
~Nasrathul~
~HongYeow[daddy]~
~WeiMei[pmfa]~
~Janine~
~Ahjess[gan mei]~
~Alex[audi fam ldr]~

if i ever miss out anyone PLS forgive me!! im really sorry! but really a BIG THANK YOU for all of your moral support!! in times of need, you stood by me giving me all your unlimited love... i am really very touched by what you all did!! and its all from the bottom of my heart!! like there is a saying, friends will be there for each other whether you know it or not and no matter how bad things turn out between any of your friends, they are actually right there beside you helping you in the dark.. =) So may you all be HappyAlways and SMILE!! as you all look the best when the smile comes deep within your heart.. ^^

[ Rain OR Shine, Happy OR Sad, Ugly OR Beautiful and on war or not, a True Friend will always be there supporting you be it in the dark or open, cherish them and do not let go off them.. as they are more precious than Diamonds! XD ]

im INSANE.

2008-08-26T22:33:00.003+08:00

i don even know what kind of day is today... can't put it as crap? can't put it as shitty and i also can't put it as happy either.. it's just so stupid or what.. first having lessons and was kinda lame? i was so tired that i can barely open my eyes and i am just glad that there is not much of teaching today and i just slacked at class.. hahas!! ok.. then today.. seems so be putting a smile too. [ although it don really mean that im happy, but at least im still able to put a smile on my face.. means its not to the extend until im that bad.. XD ]

after school have choir! and we went for sectionals.. and when we are having our sectionals there is a roach that came to disturb us.. hahas!! and that carmen aka jia wen ask that who is scare of roaches raise up your hands... and not many people raise their hand... [ but well... im one of them that rose my hand.. HAHAS! ] then hao yuan aka hui jun's bro, he was the brave one that wasn't scare of roaches and went to catch and killed it.. and as u all know.. they have legs to run.. the roach went to us!! hahas but no to my side... and the other side of the girls all run away screaming... hahas!! then carmen went on saying that.. " wa... u all lie to me ar... just now ask who scare of roaches only a hand full raise up and now all run.. hahas!! "

okok.. then went back to music room for our combine section.. Style~ XD sing sing sing and that later after choir, stead-ashley called me up to chat and went home ^^ Ting-a-ling-a-ling... u call me too late la.. next time want then call me earlier ^^v hahas!! but when i reach home.. things change... my dad like came home and just showed me attitude when i din even do a thing?! like so wth... and then its like what the hell he wants from me man?! he everyday show me his bloody attitude... my whole family is like upside down? can't even stand the sight of how things are like now man... and what? my dad acts as though he is having PMS?! happy only then okok.. most of the times not happy only pick on me...

pls lor... i know you all know my blog la.. if u read it and wanna find me and say y i type this kind of things in my blog because no matter what you are my dad or mum anyone of u. i had enough ok? and im sure u all read my blog but kept quiet. to my DAD and MOM.. i cant stand home at all? sometimes both of you have this stuck up ass attitude of yours. if both of you are not happy that like because of something that happen over at your work place, DON BRING THE UNHAPPINESS HOME LA!!

the Odd Ball?

2008-08-25T18:47:00.006+08:00

it's been a long long day.. and im really very tired... almost every single day there is at least one test... got 2 shocks in a day.. which is quite an adventure as well ^^ when i reach home.. i lie on my parents bed and told them i was really really tired... and as usual, my mother can ONLY talk things to me that are regarding me school life.. wanting me to get good in this.... wanting me to get good in that.. and like thats all they know?

thinking of it really makes me upset.. my parents call me odd? and like saying to me that im not part of the family? maybe u all might thing so certain things im so emotionless already.. and i just realise that its not what i wanted and that it is because i have not feel any love at all? my parents never once showed me any care and concern until im really sick that i must be really unable to breath, move or that something serious have happen to me, then they will like actually have at least some time to spend on me.. this just makes me feel sick man... for all my life my parents only talk to me about my studies.. and even if they ever made and effort to even change the topic that they wanted to talk to me, they will somehow link back to the normal topic which is about my studies..

and can you like believe it? my parents have been trying to get my brother attention and when i went into the room, she said nothing and when my bro came, she said a whole lot of crap stuff just wanting my bro to reply and that my bro din reply and he came to lie beside me since he is tired as well... like wth rite? i have like already come to a point where i don feel any love from my parents? and maybe thats y to me, my friends are very important... parents? wont side me and give me for any form of support i need.. they would only know how to criticise me and talking this talking that... so what if no matter how they put it, they are the ones that supported me with things i needed from young..

that is like so material? i have never been brought up by them at all? and my grandmother only wants to take care of my bro and that i was being left to a maid to takecare of me? im glad that i have a maid as a best friend.. although she is a maid, she is as though my best friend that have always been staying over at my house.. but, my parents send her away after 12 years of my life with her? and when she left, i totally feel so lost and don even know wat to do. i feel this is so crap? like wth my parents wan with me? they can even ask me to go overseas just because they have no time for me and that since i don like to stay at home and neither do they wan to see my face everyday. its like so wtf?

oh and bev.. erm.. i can't stop ppl from liking me? and that if got someone like me than i tell u lor.. as a friend before, we share thoughs and feelings what.. din u tell them to me too? and besides, they r all factual what... and now who's the one hanging on the past? saying drop it drop it.. and claiming that i did not drop it whereas im not even saying a thing about it and you are still hanging there... and if u really wanna pick on me with this issuse, they asked for my opinion. if they think its not right, they could have made their own judement? and i said that it would look good on them mah.. its the truth what.

and so whats wrong with just giving a piece of my mind since they r asking for my real actual opinion and u keeps hanging there and only shooting me back with " since u r a prefect i should tell them the right thing and stuff like that. " but if i say this, you would think that im insulting you? and i don even wanna make u think that im insulting u cause i wan peace? but if u r pushing the blame on me for everything just because we enter to the hair shop? then person before we enter said that we r just to go in and they will give us advices on our hair and stuff like that.

and after when we entered the shop, you all are the one that ask me? and if u keeps hanging saying its my fault or wat like wats the point? i am just giving my opinion what. and even if they hear my opinion, they can still choose not to do this what? now the way that u r putting it is that actaully u r kinda insulting them that they have no brains to think for their own? i mean if a person don wanna do it, they just wont do it what.

and bev, once again, i seriously din tell hy anything. y u keep thinking that i would tell him something?! [ u will say like cause he is my daddy? or close to me? ] its like i already said that its cuz he like me not as a daddy anymore wat. and i don even know how the hell he knows? and i don even think he knows wat is actually going on lor.

again.. haiz diao...

2008-08-24T20:14:00.004+08:00

hmm.... y is there a need to act nice infront of my friends? if u ask everyone of my friends, they have all taken my shit before and i have taken theirs... but we r always ok after a day and start going out once again and talking to each other. and like what you said.. if you think im insulting you, when im not or maybe its the tone prob? i have no idea? and then over at your bloggy, you have repeatedly saying that i snatch your friends and those sort.. saying i don wanna see your face, you don wanna see my face and stuff like that..

whats the point of snatching your friends and so what if you don need those friends or whatever? thats like not the point you see? the main point is that y must we always end up like that? and if you really saying im snatching your friends? then who are your friends? and now is that you don wanna talk to me and you don wanna see my face. not i don wanna see yours. and i do believe that the unknown person that is someone related to you. and i have already said.. you keep on saying that im the one that look back.. keeps hanging on if u think i did..

ok if u wanna think it that way, then ok don talk bout that. even if i tell u im like letting go? i don think u will even believe rite? because u always think that it could nv happen so easily.. and if u insist that im not letting go, then i have nth else to say.. and all i could say is.. u r just holding on.. this donno wat war is this could have still go on if i was like piss or even unhappy about ur remarks at your bloggy.. but i din what.. and if you stated that i was waiting for time to pass or your sorry? is like y would i even wait for your sorry knowing that i wont even have one in the first place? and im sure that you won't give me a sorry and i have like never evern ask for a sorry from you? lolxD

the second thing is that, im waiting for time to pass... hmmm... maybe im really waiting for time to pass? who would like to stay in this kind of situation.. unless u r telling me that you like it. and you kept on saying that im the one that started things. and think i know wat you even said it lor. if u have seen my blog carefully, it states on the 29 july that i dont wan anyone to even question me or ask me to put anything regarding on wat happen during the trip lor. then later on i got this post saying "this is all i know" that post was being posted because i was being confronted by maple about that sentence that i told you about in my previous post.

and like.. how would i even know that you don know about it? and i am sure and even comfirm that there are things that i don't know of as well. like maybe when u get to know it, its like too late? but did u ever bother to come and tell me? no? you din rite? and so im not even pushing the blame here and i just wan u to know the facts. if u always think im the one that started it, maybe its one of your freinds that inflicted unreasonable threats on me when i don even know a thing about what happen thats y i got concern? and when i realise what happen, you refuse to believe it thinking that im this kind of person.

and like what i said again. you said that i donno alot of things.. its true that i donno alot of things.. but there is a lot of things that u don know as well. and im like not allow to mention anything? there are alot of things that u think that may have come the way it is? aiyo... wat m i talking man... anyway.. if u ever realise y things r coming so easy the way they are, it may not always be because it is just the way they r.

LOLxD

2008-08-24T01:49:00.011+08:00

bev, none of my freinds are like going after you lor.. you do you always think that my friends are like coming after you?? there is no reason for them to come after you.. and besides, i din wan our friendship to turn sour either. and its like is it just so hard to just be normal friends and live our life off.. and besides.. amanda [ mummy ] knows that she is a bitch.. and she also knows that a lot of people have called her a bitch.. so i donno when did i told u, maybe its last year. but im sure she is ok with it as i even told infront of her. and even i told her that? like whats wrong, she wanna be bitchy is my prob? we still ended up being good freinds what..and that i donno which one of ur friends don't like believe you?

besides.. i have no idea y must you always have such a harsh tone. cant we just talk things out? instead of just typing on our blog? [ and you will maybe like say, there is nth i wanna talk with you this kind of ppl? ] but seriously la.. even if we cant be good friends just be normal friends la.. im sure u have been affect cause of this also wat. and so am i. and im also sure that u are also sick and tired of it already. and so am i. so why doncha just let bygones be bygones and just let it pass. and if i don understand you as a friend, i would already be finding you up and talking straight up to your face liao.. it is cause i also know that you needed sometime to cool down thats y i din went up to you yet. hoping that u wont flare up.

if both of us keep hanging on with this kind of thing just because of one overseas trip is also seriously not worth it lor.. and i don even know u would like even be bothered about what im saying or even care bout it anot. but i din even tell anyone what happen during the overseas trip until i found out that things are happening without my knowing. and it all started with this ugly sight when i din even know wat hy told u. and when i wanted to call you to clarify things, you din even picked up my call.. maybe you might not be in the right mood to pick up my call. but you din even call back. and if u ever did call back and both of us have a talk to see actually what is happening, i don even think that things would even turn out the way it is right now lor..

but maybe because u r piss or angry or whatever, you chose not to pick up.. and i have to end up asking other ppl to know what happen. and besides.. the person that knows what happen is like? your friends or wat? and as usual.. when i tried asking, none of them tell me about anything. and when i tell them about my side. the reply they gave back is " you think i would believe you? " if im really the one that did it i should know what happen and y do i even put myself into the risk of getting scolded by your freinds or what just to know what actually happen if i already know what have happen? [ and im sure u will be saying.. Oh.. cause i wanna act or something.. ] and besides.. you said that you were not happy that maple confronted me like that and you were pissed off with her. its not as if i wanted u to be pissed with her as she was trying to protect you as well.. but its like how i know you knew about that or not when we cant even have a peacefull talk to like find out what is actually happeing?

and now from the tone in your blog, if it were to turn real that as if u were really talking to me. you are like shouting infront of me la. and like even if u r the one that shout, im sure u wont feel good either what. and besides, i have like only a year plus in this school? and you seriously just wan things to turn this bad to us meh.. or maybe you just really hated me la.. i can even like feel it from your tone lor.. if you seriously wan ppl to like side you and not siding me so to be your friends, just tell me who you wan and i wont talk to them. im like totally fine with it as its not like i will be in this school forever..

and.. i know you are sad because of this thing and so am i.. and i also cant say any remarks to you now to cheer you up i suppose, as you will be thinking i am such a great person that only knows how to act infront of my blog.. or can say infront of other ppl. like what i have already say. if u wanna pick on someone, there is a million and one things you can pick on.. it all depends in your perpective and how you look at things. and seriously, if you have lost freinds and so do i, then y do we still wanna lose more friends but even arguing for a stupid trip now? its u ever have even the time to think and reflect back, you think its worth it anot.

and now im sure u don even wanna talk or say anything in a peacefull manner la. everything that comes out from u r so piercing ans sharp. if on your blog u r already like that.. when u r not even opening our mouth to even just talk. how do we talk things out man. unless u tell me i have to see ur blog then type type type and you have to see my blog then type type type again meh.. if you really think im this kind of person to you, there is nothing i can do about it as its ur own mind.

MeeN is tired...

OK!!! and today is my mother's birthday!! XD put on a BIG BIG smile just to make everything bright and happy.. and i want to say.. " Happy Bithday MUMMY!!! " [ not amanda ar.. my real mother man -.-'' LOL!! ] but we like never go out? everyone was like rotting at home talking crap!! cool huh.. LOLxD ok.. and my parents suspected that i am having a BoyFriend.. -.-'' its totally CRAP can? [ omg!! omg!! JOANNE!! im talking like you!! how man!! DIE! hahas!! XD ] everybody was pretty busy.... and that stupid and funny Ting-a-ling-a-ling played webcam with me on msn.... and we are like crazy ok....

first.. im still in my PJ.. and that everytime at home i will be in my PJ unless im going out.. because i don't bother buying clothes at home as i get to sleep any time i want with my PJs on!! XD and so is like i got a lot of PJs as well.. hahas!! and because of that, he claims that ppl with PJ are like those that have just woken up or something.. but so i was finding a weapon to "kill" him? hahas!! and i found a fork!!! WOOTS!! and then he was like.. " i also have ok!! " and then he took out a SPOON!!! hahahahhas!! damn funny la!!

OH!! and about the boyfriend thing that my prarents suspected.. they knows that i don have a boyfriend as all the Boys which is my friends, my parents have seen them before and i am not like some kind of girls that will like.. scare my parents think the wrong way of me or what.. because boys and girls, anyone can also be my friend!! XD and to get things cleared, i don have a boyfriend.. LOL! to me.. being friends are just fine ^^...

let by gones be by gones.. XD

2008-08-23T14:13:00.000+08:00

hey!! its a new day!! so lets be happy again man!! wats over is over and wats done is done.. =] so as usual. i woke up like donno wat time.. hahas and then i continued to stay in my bed thinking of what happen ytd.. hmmm.. yesterday, i went out alone and did some reflecting on myself.. ^^ and was like thinking thinking thinking.. and was like.. to say the truth, its like.. i find that there is no point being this way lor.. i would rather have a freind then a foe.

and i went to keep on changing buses and Mrt... and i went to quite a few places.. i went to.. tiong, plaza sing, lucky plaza, suntec.. hmmm... i think thats bout there.. hahas!! and was alone through out.. as everyone has their own probs.. and ashley is having a prob with leon too.. then when im at suntec.. i went to walk around.. and went to this candy shop. i bought some candies thinking that when ever im sad i would have something sweet to make me happy again XD after like 7 plus, yue han was like sms-ing me.. and that we met up at tiong... so.. both of us reach tiong at bout 8. after that amanda[mummy] know that i was feeling kinda down.. she said that she will come and meet me at bout 9 after she is done with her stuff..

and that she said she will treat me donuts!!! yum!! XD ok.. and i was eating dinner at kfc.. and yuehan was like kept watching me eat.. and see until wan to die le.. LOL!! he said that i am eating VERY SLOWLY. then soon, mummy came and also accompanied me and now.. both of them are like waiting for me to eat finish.. hahas!! then i ate till like from 8 plus.. to 9.50 like that. from the kfc the lights very bright. till they kfc lights become so much dimmer.. hahas!! after that, we went to buy donuts.. and we chose like 6!! XD supposingly yuehan gets 2 and mummy gets 2 and i got 2 XD but we wanted to sit down and enjoy our donuts but we couldn't find a sit -.-''

it was already like 10 plus when we are still finding a sit. then yuehan suggested that we go to the fith level.. and like all the shops are like close in tiong already and we still go up to the fifth level... its kinda spooky as there were not much lights lited on.. and we sat at fifth level the chairs to have our donut. soon after we kept hearing noises and yuehan is trying to scare mummy and i. but actually he was the one that was scared!! hahas!! okok.. then my dad was like fetching me.. so we took a life down.. and before we could enter the lift, yue han gave his one last shot trying to make mummy and i have a shock. but at last, he still failed.

took a lift down to the first floor.. then when the lift open.. and yue han was the first one to turn to move out from the lift.. he scared one boy outside the lift man!! its so funny then mummy and i laugh until stomach pain.. hahas!! then yuehan cant help it but laugh at himself too.. hahas!! well then we were like waiting for my dad near the taxi stand.. and at last my dad came and i went home.. XD

ok... and now, im gonna thank my freinds that helped me in times of need and although they are having their own stresses and problems. they were there for me.. =] really touched. my freinds that were there for me are.. Amanda, Nic, Yuehan, Ting-a-ling, Yue Qin, Joanne, Ashley... so now and so fore..

it have been really gald that you all are always there most of the time.. there are many others that helped me.. i really would wanna thank you all as well.. and i donno whats wrong but like my friends suddenly like.. recently, they have been also having some relationship crisis.. which consist of like bgr probs... friends... or even family.. but they were all there for me.. which i seriously appreciate a lot!! well, maybe i may not be in the perfect state for cheering you all up as i have probs as well.. LOL! but im sure no matter what happen.. friends will always be freinds no matter what happen.. so cheer up! XD

today.. is already dead..

2008-08-22T13:46:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. ok.. today as usual, have a new attitude.. and.. went in to choir with this ass attitude... but still try to put a smile on my face.. and everything was still going ok i guess? but it still sucks today.. as.. im here to post and at the same time to clarify to people that.. " I did not backstab u guys. " its like.. i don't even know what you all have heard.. and its like regarding some lengthening of the hair... its like kinda shit to explain myself.. but i cant swallow it down.

first is like.. knowing that there have been rumours that i have backstab ppl as by telling the head prefect which was also a choir member that some ppl lengthen their hair during the overseas trip. and that saying that i wanted to "sabo" them by complaining.. but sorry i am not backstabbing anyone. it is like.. its kinda obvious that the length u have extend to is long.. that i admit that is nice on you all. but by trying to not get yourself caught when we are like overseas? ok.. maybe its like you all would say its not allowed by the school and stuff..

and yeah, i know that too.. but we r like overseas? and if u all really scare u could like take them off when we get back mah. then here the thing goes.. its obvious that even if u all bun up your hair, people can still see it by the amount it has ans that its pretty obvious. so when they question me suspecting that u both lengthen your hair, i cant deny it what. its like not saying that i wanted to speak the truth. but the fact is.. its so obvious that she can kinda suspected or what? then came to ask me.. and true enough, she did came to ask me. but knowing that there was no point lying as sooner or later if she really take the means to find out.. its harder to escape the fact.

so since she ask and even suspecting, so i told her. and i told her not because im like backstabbing? but because i know her character well and we r like overseas. she wont do anything and if its really that bad she would just told me and i would have told u all. but the thing is no one would actaully like complain to the teachers as we r all students. we helped one another and not by backstabbing one another. i cant swallow down the way u all perceive me in the way that is so misunderstanding by not hetting all the facts right.

or maybe you all only would hear like one side of the story and just made your judgement. making such judgemental decision.. i don know is it because.. EVEN before that you already hated me and just wanted to ACT as my friend. and by the statement i made. it is NOT judgemental as i have a prove of it. but like what people tell me.. no one is perfect and if some people just like to pick on you, there is so much things someone can pick on. and it is whether they want to anot. but it looks like u do not have such a great liking for me and instead telling other people stuff to make them have a judgemental value too?

i would really wanna say.. " wow.. good going there. you have done a great or even superb job by doing that. " =] if you would really even cherish your friends. you should have dropped and forget the things that happen and look forward to the up coming days.

MeeN is feeling down again..

New one.. cuz just came home.. XD replies to bev. did u like said some mean stuff rite there? cuz i din see it.. someone went to my cbox to del it. but anyways.. im not the one who bear grudges k. it is cause i got the news today. how would i even know what you all like did man. and besides. i have already drop the subject and not even bearing any grudges lor.. but i donno y u r the one that kept bringing the topic back?! and instead saying that im the one that is holding on?

is like wat i have said in either one of by previous post that i just wanted to drop everything. but u r the one that keeps hanging on that made everything so ugly? and im sure u will be back shooting at whatever i say? because u r not happy with me or something? and u r the one that say u do not bear grudges. and if u don get the facts rite? the posted that was dedicated to me, from you. it states there that im a flirt going around saying i love you to guys? and for what i know.. i only say i love you to all my close freinds including guys or girls.. other then that. there can only be my online friend which were playing with me and i just play along with them.

who would take a word " i love you" so seriously? it can be serious or it can be in a friendly manner what. unless u r trying to tell me that your head could only perceive one image of the phrase " i love you ". because if thats the case, i have nothing to say. and ok.. you called me a friend snatcher. you know there was one period of time that just because i am your friend, i lost many freinds because even before that [ if you think i backstabbed you ] they are the ones that are like saying " shermeen.. y u go with this kind of ppl " and im the one that said back to them " whats wrong with her. everyone have their own character what.. "

and im also comfirm that u will sure say me back by saying.. "oh.. but i don need you to be freinds with me in the first place! " but like whats wrong with being freinds with one another man.. at least i don go around telling ppl that you suck or i hate you or what? and i even go against my friends to speak up for u? [ and im sure u will go like.. " AWW.. LIKE AS IF I WILL BELIEVE YOU! YOU BACKSTABBER!! " because that is already the way you perceive me as. a backstabber. thats why no matter how much i try to say and try to explain, will you even listen?

and you have always been showing this attitude of yours? happy only talk to ppl.. not happy only show attitude.. hello? im not trying to pin point or go agaist anyone here? as the post is dedicated to all that. every single one has their own attitude. so even if i din really like you attitude, did i even say anything bout that? and if im not wrong, last year or what i have told you nicely about your attitude. but i don think whatever im saying now you would even give a damn lor.. cause guess what. i think in your mind when u r reading this, you r only thinking of how to should be back and to show to others that you are rite.

and im not saying that you are wrong either. im just telling you that everyone has their own way of thinking and you maynot understand. thats y when ppl ask me about you. did i ever say i don like you? i never. i only told them that. you attitude is not really to my liking. but.. ok here is the main point. i have been like dropping everything from the pass and to look into the future. but you cant seem to be able to do that. maybe you just hate me or something? [ nono.. not you just hate me.. is.. u already hate me like what liao.. ] so now, whatever i say. you will always treat it that im going against you. but have you ever thought about it in another perpective?

and i guess you might be also thinking that [ oh... this shermeen must be acting in her blog sia.. say until like that like so nice like that. but actaully don mean it. ] the fact is. i do mean everything i say alrite. you may not like me.. and during the trip has cause so much unhappiness between us. like wth man.. don you feel that its kinda sad that things turn out this way? and instead of trying to savage the situation, you are like trying to make things worse and turn things ugly. [ in your mind u may think like, wtf i do man. i din even turn anything ugly lor! its you lor! ]

well thats y i shall say it once again. it is how the way u perceive of it. and i din even know Hy wanna wack you until that time maple said " if anyone dare to touch bev, you will be Next. " and besides, if u claims that im backstabbing you, when i din even know wat hy did and said to you. i could also say that u made maple to threaten me? and in future, watever happens to u, my name will be pull down for no god damn reason. cause not me also just bomb my name.

its like what happen in suzhou lor... when there is something happen to anita, huijun that gang was like saying " that beverley la.. blah blah blah" and all those shit. im sure u know it too. and i know that you r not even the one at fault and your name was being pulled down. its like the same thing lor? and im sure u will say that hy is close to me and all this shit. hello? if thats the case, all my freinds that did something or what without my knowing is also my fault la?

ok.. i will drop what happen in the trip as whatever that happen has happen. and i don even find it worth to be arguing over the past. but im sure you will think im trying to hide or act or what ever you can think of. but thats the fact. y cant you just look ahead and be happy? y r u always having this mindset that im trying to do something bad to you all and all this. like y in the hell would i do that? i have to do soo much shit hw everyday to be even spending the time thinking how to backstab you if i ever wan to lor. i mean like, just drop the past la.. all say wan to drop but nv drop.

MeeN says.. the past is over. y still think bout it? just smile and try to be happy. =]

Moving on is difficult.

2008-08-21T19:45:00.001+08:00

well.. guess what.. i just argued with my best friend.. and im feeling like shit now. am i like being too concern or something? or like what other ppl say in a more crude way. im just being KPO. but like wat? cause of one person that i wanted to help. i cause so much people unhappiness and i just totally feel like dying straight. first i was not really feeling that good. and then when i reach home, i receive attitude replies from my bestie.. and from then on, we start on our damn journey of arguing..

and he was like piss off or something? i have no idea.. but i feel that he had change.. TOTALLY.. he become a person i do not really know of.. and that it is also not the first time we argue... if u all know me well, u would know who am i talking about. others who don't know. dont ask me.. because im sick and tired of every single thing in my life already.. im like.. " just give me a break man! " and carrying with that kind of attitude.. i still continued surviving day by day. still showing others the constant smile that always appears on my face so that no one would ever know how trash i am inside.

in the heated arguement, i was being considered a un-caring person as my bestie said that y must i wan others to put themselves into my shoes and spare a though for me.. while im not doing so? actually, it is not it. i have been trying to compromise every single one into my feelings and have been constantly trying to figure out y are they like doing this or that.. but i was dumbfounded when everything shoots back at me.. like.. even my bestie says this to me.. and like im feeling so crap rite now? and sometime, i don even bother to explain myself as everyone will just give me this remark saying " do you think i would actually believe you?! "... so like what's the point of explaining when this is the answer i would get back?

maybe im just being too concern about everything. and i don needa even explain myself.. and i have actually kinda woken up by wat my bestie says about me.. he say that.. no matter how tough and how much effort i am putting in, i won't be able to draw the line with any of my freinds or even ppl that hated me? and with that hurtful reply of his.. i have just woken up... knowing that in this world.. no one could really be there for u.. and in this real world. even ur bestie would just give up and turn a back on you. i have totally learnt a lesson that i shall keep every single thing to myself...

if im telling you all im like tearing now? who would actually believe? people have always been telling me to take things easy. but is it really possible? when u already have a shitty day and ur bestie said something that hurtfull to u?! im sure no one can unless u don reguard that person as your bestie. feeling sick and tired of every single thing in my life.. having a friend don come easy. and not say having a bestie.. its like one in a million.. but if thats the way how things goes... i will just have to wash my hands off every single thing. i don wanna do anything now. i just wanna rest... and just keep resting......

MeeN's soul is dead...